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Monday
[It had been Sanji's idea to gather up the kids for a little story time -- a little "celebration" given their surprisingly good fortune, though he's careful not to phrase it that way (Ion's got it hard enough as it is).
So sometime during the night, he'll visit their room armed with snacks and hot cocoa, shooting both of them a grin.]
Oi, help me set this shit down somewhere.
So sometime during the night, he'll visit their room armed with snacks and hot cocoa, shooting both of them a grin.]
Oi, help me set this shit down somewhere.
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It's not that strange, is it? So, where exactly where is the Grand Line in relation to the Red Line?
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If you can't swim, well... either you stay on whatever island you grew up on, or you take that shitty risk. I didn't say being a pirate was safe.
[Sanji's life expectancy is shit. Thanks One Piece.]
And pretend this is a globe. [Picking up a snack that is sphere shaped, probably some cute pastry that took like five hours to make.]
The Red Line covers the world in a loop, and the Grand Line runs perpendicular.
[Basically this, with Sanji looping his fingers along the pastry to demonstrate.]
The Grand Line? You can't cross it like a normal sea. You'd die. So for most people, whatever ocean quadrant they live in, they stay in. If you wanna switch over, you risk your life.
[ONE PIECE~ A HAPPY STORY ABOUT PIRATES]
Anyway, the point where the Red Line and Grand Line connect? Its a huge ass mountain with streams that run up and down. If you wanna get on the Grand Line, you shoot up the right stream and pray your ship isn't destroyed before the journey even starts.
... Oh, and hope the giant whale doesn't smash your ship, either.
[Typing this shit out makes me realize how horrific this story actually is, I am so sorry]
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Scary... Why don't you just— [ He picks up something simple like a chocolate chip cookie, teases out the chocolate chips, and pokes them under Sanji's fingers, breaking up the line it creates. ] Build a bridge to get over it? Then you don't have to mess with the whales and stuff.
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[There could also just be laws and regulations in place, but.]
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... Also taking that cookie and promptly popping it into his mouth. THERE'S MORE HERE, NO COMPLAINTS.]
Not only that, no one actually lives on the Red Line, last I heard. shit's completely uninhabitable. So the coordination it'd take to build a bridge when none of the Blues really interact with each other, on top of gathering up resources from all the islands... that shit isn't gonna happen anytime soon.
[But anyway.]
So at the start of the Grand Line lives a giant whale named Laboon. He's so big, his doctor actually lives within a small island in his gut.
[Why is this canon like this]
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[ He pulls a face at the incompetency of One Piecers. Can't build a bridge, and they've got this whale eating doctors now. ]
Is this where you come swooping in to save the day? You gutted the whale?
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I hope that it didn't come to that--Laboon didn't end up crushing your ship, did he?
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No, I did not gut the whale. He's actually a friend of mine now.
[Give him a second, Sanji will explain.]
See, Laboon's actually the long lost crewmate of my musician. 50 years back, that crew left him at that mountain because the journey wasn't safe for a baby whale, and eventually Laboon grew so big he accidentally blocked the passage to the Grand Line. But, y'know, refused to move while he was waiting for his friends.
[This universe is either dangerous or sad, kids.]
As for my musician... [Oh boy.] Well, he's around 80 years old, but was transformed into a skeleton... and uh, his crew didn't make the journey. But me and my crew found him lost at sea, so now his goal is to return back to Laboon and show him that the crew never forgot him.
[They just died horribly.
O N E P I E C E]
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It's Fane.
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and then Natsuo speaks. His expression goes blank, and then he can't help himself. He absolutely doubles over in laughter.]
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[smacking a hand to his forehead, jesus wept--]
His name is Brook! Brook! He's got an afro and a top hat!
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[ I've read One Piece and this sounds so fake!!!!!! ]
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[Ion apologies between wheezing, wiping tears from his eyes. What is happening? He's never laughed this hard.]
I'm sure Brook--I'm sure--
[He's calming down, he's centering.]
I'm sure they're both very different gentlemen!
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[asjdlfaskfhoai]
Damn right they're different! Brook's way more personable than Fane is.
[Listen he's glad Ion is having a good time but Natsuo he swears to the sea--]
And it's his dream to get back to Laboon! We're just... taking the long way to get there.
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Brook— did Laboon eat him and spit out his skeleton?
[ He'll do his best to understand the story, but... One Piece... ]
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I'm sure--Laboon and Brook sounded like good friends, right? Friends wouldn't do such a thing to one another.
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No, friends wouldn't do that.
The reason Brook's a skeleton is because of a devil fruit. They grant really weird powers to the eater, but the trade-off is you'll sink in water -- so really dangerous for a pirate.
Anyway, his devil fruit gave Brook's soul a chance to return to his body after death... but a shitty problem happened. The soul couldn't find the body because of a thick-ass fog that covered that entire portion of sea, so by the time his soul found what it was looking for, the body had decomposed into nothing but bones.
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It's a good story, even if it's fake, but it sparks something of hope, too— dangerous, dangerous hope ]
That fruit... it's real, right? That's something that actually exists?
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[Ion looks concerned now.]
Actually, with so much water on your planet, that's a big risk for anyone at all to take, isn't it?
[But he pauses, thinking of his friend Luke, and how he'd been when they'd first met.]
But I suppose I understand. A lot of people will do anything to become powerful in some way, regardless of the risk involved.
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[Back to Natsuo]
And they exist on my world, yeah... can't speak for anyone else's. [Don't get too hopeful kid. Sanji brings up some fingers, ticking them off]
But for example -- my doctor is a reindeer who ate the Hito Hito fruit, which turned him partially human. My captain ate a fruit that turned him into a rubber man. I already told you about my musician... and then there's Robin-chan, my archeologist, who ate a fruit that allows her to "bloom" any body part that she wants, as many times as she wants, wherever she wants.
So she could sprout eyes all over the walls, have an arm stick outta you, or even make a copy of herself.
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Okay. Um. [ God. Okay. ] The death fruit, what's that one called? Its name, and what would I— someone... do with it? To make it work.
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[He's really trying to help, Sanji.]
So what happened after you met Laboon?
[This story's narrative is so scattered.]
1/2
Damn right you can't tell what you get! And you activate it by dying.
[MOVING THE FUCK ON]
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[Does it sound like a trap?
Because it was a trap]
And the moment we're asleep, they try to kill us. Turns out the place is notorious for trying to off new pirate crews who enter the Grand Line and profit off their bounties.
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Natsuo will keep that fruit in mind, disregard the warning, and move on. ]
I bet they were disappointed, huh? A chef and a reindeer, there's no way you guys have bounties.
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