Monday

[concasse]

[It had been Sanji's idea to gather up the kids for a little story time -- a little "celebration" given their surprisingly good fortune, though he's careful not to phrase it that way (Ion's got it hard enough as it is).

So sometime during the night, he'll visit their room armed with snacks and hot cocoa, shooting both of them a grin.]

Oi, help me set this shit down somewhere.

Comments

[fragileprophet]

I'm sorry--

[Ion apologies between wheezing, wiping tears from his eyes. What is happening? He's never laughed this hard.]

I'm sure Brook--I'm sure--

[He's calming down, he's centering.]

I'm sure they're both very different gentlemen!

[concasse]

I'm tellin' ya, he's got an afro! The fuck would I make that up for?!

[asjdlfaskfhoai]

Damn right they're different! Brook's way more personable than Fane is.

[Listen he's glad Ion is having a good time but Natsuo he swears to the sea--]

And it's his dream to get back to Laboon! We're just... taking the long way to get there.

[randori]

Fane's pretty personable... [ Fane is a person. Natsuo does not know what personable means. ]

Brook— did Laboon eat him and spit out his skeleton?

[ He'll do his best to understand the story, but... One Piece... ]

[fragileprophet]

[Finally, Ion's case of the giggles subsides, and Ion catches his breath.]

I'm sure--Laboon and Brook sounded like good friends, right? Friends wouldn't do such a thing to one another.

[concasse]

[Sanji swears Ion is the only person who is following this story]

No, friends wouldn't do that.

The reason Brook's a skeleton is because of a devil fruit. They grant really weird powers to the eater, but the trade-off is you'll sink in water -- so really dangerous for a pirate.

Anyway, his devil fruit gave Brook's soul a chance to return to his body after death... but a shitty problem happened. The soul couldn't find the body because of a thick-ass fog that covered that entire portion of sea, so by the time his soul found what it was looking for, the body had decomposed into nothing but bones.

[randori]

[ How can anybody follow this story?? It gets wilder and wilder every time Sanji opens his mouth, and Natsuo's half expecting him to end the story with "Just kidding!" and make fun of them for how much they believed it was real.

It's a good story, even if it's fake, but it sparks something of hope, too— dangerous, dangerous hope ]

That fruit... it's real, right? That's something that actually exists?

[fragileprophet]

That is a big risk for a pirate to take...

[Ion looks concerned now.]

Actually, with so much water on your planet, that's a big risk for anyone at all to take, isn't it?

[But he pauses, thinking of his friend Luke, and how he'd been when they'd first met.]

But I suppose I understand. A lot of people will do anything to become powerful in some way, regardless of the risk involved.

[concasse]

[A nod to Ion] That's it right there. If you've eaten a devil fruit, it means the chances of another pirate crew, or the marines, or anyone else trying to start shit won't end in their favor. Hell, most of the devil fruit users I know are in positions of power.

[Back to Natsuo]

And they exist on my world, yeah... can't speak for anyone else's. [Don't get too hopeful kid. Sanji brings up some fingers, ticking them off]

But for example -- my doctor is a reindeer who ate the Hito Hito fruit, which turned him partially human. My captain ate a fruit that turned him into a rubber man. I already told you about my musician... and then there's Robin-chan, my archeologist, who ate a fruit that allows her to "bloom" any body part that she wants, as many times as she wants, wherever she wants.

So she could sprout eyes all over the walls, have an arm stick outta you, or even make a copy of herself.

[randori]

[ whispers under his breath "my doctor is a reindeer"... ]

Okay. Um. [ God. Okay. ] The death fruit, what's that one called? Its name, and what would I— someone... do with it? To make it work.

[fragileprophet]

I'm assuming...you're never really sure what you're going to get until you get it?

[He's really trying to help, Sanji.]

So what happened after you met Laboon?

[This story's narrative is so scattered.]

1/2

[concasse]

[This story has been butchered, rip in heck.]

Damn right you can't tell what you get! And you activate it by dying.

[MOVING THE FUCK ON]

[concasse]

So anyway, we sail to this island called Whiskey Peak -- and to our surprise? Get a big welcome. Everyone's cheering, offering us food, drink, whatever we want.

[Does it sound like a trap?

Because it was a trap]

And the moment we're asleep, they try to kill us. Turns out the place is notorious for trying to off new pirate crews who enter the Grand Line and profit off their bounties.

[randori]

[ This story was salvageable from the start

Natsuo will keep that fruit in mind, disregard the warning, and move on. ]

I bet they were disappointed, huh? A chef and a reindeer, there's no way you guys have bounties.

[fragileprophet]

[Never judge a book by its cover, Natsuo...]

That sounds awful--how big is your bounty?

[concasse]

Right now?

177,000,000 beli.

[BITE HIS ASS, NATSUO]

[randori]

How much is that in yen?

[fragileprophet]

[Ion refrains from asking about the beli -> gald conversion ratio and just, kind of, goes with it.]

That's huge! No wonder they went after you! But you escaped?

[concasse]

I don't even know what a yen is...

Though to be fair, that's how big it is now. Before? Tch, can't remember if I had one during Whiskey Peak.

[SURPRISE, NATSUO WAS RIGHT. SORTA.]

Not that it really mattered.

Zoro and Luffy took out the entire island, so no one turned us in.

[randori]

[ He's trying really hard to connect the dots here, but in the end, he's a SOL high school canon ]

Where did they take them out to...?

[fragileprophet]

I think what he's trying to say is that Zoro and Luffy were able to defeat the whole island in combat--it's an idiom!

[He beams. He's going to assume everyone just ended up unconscious and nobody died he doesn't like death.]

That's really impressive!

[concasse]

[The hilarious part is Ion is correct, no one actually died, the Straw Hats are that kind of pirate crew]

Ain't it? Luffy's ridiculous in a fight. You wouldn't think someone made of rubber would be that impressive, but no one can take him down.

... And I suppose that shitty swordsman isn't that bad, either. [A long bearing sigh] He better be decent with three swords.

[randori]

[ nts master one sword and eventually work his way up to three ]

And you fight with your legs, right? There's nothing more satisfying than kicking somebody in the face! It's the coolest!