[Short and to the point. He's still... a little raw from everything, which is the only reason the next self-deprecating comment sneaks out:]
Not that I did much shit to help out.
[His tail -- a tiger tail, of course - flicks from side to side, agitated]
Makes sense why I died, though. Flayn-chan was there to pacify me long enough for Magnus to ask for a duel. They knew if I struck first, I might've killed him.
[ the fact that she was there... yin yu died that same night. they probably happened around the same time.
...he's not sure how to feel. mostly just numb, and exhausted. any anger is so beyond him at this point. magnus made the final blow... trying to picture flayn fighting sanji had admittedly put a little fear in his heart. not that it absolves anything, but that's two that he knows she participated in that... ultimately, were others protecting her from being anything more than an accomplice.
eventually, he sighs. ] ...If you're angry at her for participating, you can take it out on me.
[Voice quiet, tired, but there is still sincerity present. No part of him is radiating killing intent.]
It'd make me a hypocrite. I told you before, I used to be an Editor in my last game. The only difference between her and me is that I didn't get to pick my targets.
[And Sanji supposes if there's any anger in his heart, just in general, it's that he doesn't agree with many of the picks chosen. It's pretty damn obvious those on the boat very purposefully avoided targeting themselves out of loyalty. Does Sanji understand it? Yes, of course he does, he never would have targeted Belph or Steph if he could help it --
But the fact that children were picked instead -- Zenitsu especially -- has put such a foul taste in his mouth.
As a former killer himself, the only crime Sanji judges them all for is being too fuckin selfish.]
Besides, Flayn-chan's already received her punishment. She'll have to carry those sins for the rest of her life. And it's probably never gonna get easier -- for her, for them, for us...
[ she sure has. yin yu figured that much out on saturday, watching her practically beg for her own death. watching people protect her from something, when in reality, she didn't want to be protected at all. yin yu at first had been horrified that he might have gotten her captured innocently -- but by the end of the trial, he was almost begging to get her caught, at all. he's sure flayn is still expecting it. aside from the fact that flayn wants to be punished for the things she's done, she...
mn. this is the worst possible punishment. to live with your guilt dragging at your heels, a shadow with a heavy weight, is a cruel existence, and one that is often deserved. he knows that hurt. yin yu knows that pain. ]
...it won't. [ he's sure sanji must know, too. that same feeling of quiet exhaustion that has come from this entire farce, from the island, and from here. how many people died from his group, because half of these killers had already known each other? ridiculous. the targeting--he's long since accepted his own, but the other kills of his week left him feeling more angry than anything else, zenitsu-- the alliances, the needless amounts of death and destruction....
yin yu's so tired. he just wants this to be over.
eventually, quietly, he speaks up again: ] I don't know what this week will have in store for us. I almost hope that this creature will be as monstrous as we're all expecting it to be.
[ because he would really, really like to kill it with his bare hands. ]
[Sanji thinks he might scream if the secret to beating the creature is through forgiveness, or being the better person despite how much they have suffered. Doesn't matter anymore if it makes him an ugly person; he's a bit tapped out as far as sympathy goes, and for once yearns for things to be straightforward and brutal. A simple solution for a simple goal.
They can only fuckin hope at this point.]
... We're almost done. The roles found who they needed to find, they're free of their responsibilities... I think it's just a waiting game at this point.
[And that -- no. Sanji immediately closes the door on the emotions that swell up in him, when he considers his former role. Sometimes skeletons are best left lurking in the closet.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
anyway they will pass each other twice before yin yu stops. he can't really hide out much, because of these brand new, brightly colored feathers.
...and finally, the third time, he speaks up, voice quiet. ] ...So you ended up having a role after all, young master Sanji.
no subject
[Short and to the point. He's still... a little raw from everything, which is the only reason the next self-deprecating comment sneaks out:]
Not that I did much shit to help out.
[His tail -- a tiger tail, of course - flicks from side to side, agitated]
Makes sense why I died, though. Flayn-chan was there to pacify me long enough for Magnus to ask for a duel. They knew if I struck first, I might've killed him.
no subject
...he's not sure how to feel. mostly just numb, and exhausted. any anger is so beyond him at this point. magnus made the final blow... trying to picture flayn fighting sanji had admittedly put a little fear in his heart. not that it absolves anything, but that's two that he knows she participated in that... ultimately, were others protecting her from being anything more than an accomplice.
eventually, he sighs. ] ...If you're angry at her for participating, you can take it out on me.
no subject
[Voice quiet, tired, but there is still sincerity present. No part of him is radiating killing intent.]
It'd make me a hypocrite. I told you before, I used to be an Editor in my last game. The only difference between her and me is that I didn't get to pick my targets.
[And Sanji supposes if there's any anger in his heart, just in general, it's that he doesn't agree with many of the picks chosen. It's pretty damn obvious those on the boat very purposefully avoided targeting themselves out of loyalty. Does Sanji understand it? Yes, of course he does, he never would have targeted Belph or Steph if he could help it --
But the fact that children were picked instead -- Zenitsu especially -- has put such a foul taste in his mouth.
As a former killer himself, the only crime Sanji judges them all for is being too fuckin selfish.]
Besides, Flayn-chan's already received her punishment. She'll have to carry those sins for the rest of her life. And it's probably never gonna get easier -- for her, for them, for us...
[It is what it is]
no subject
mn. this is the worst possible punishment. to live with your guilt dragging at your heels, a shadow with a heavy weight, is a cruel existence, and one that is often deserved. he knows that hurt. yin yu knows that pain. ]
...it won't. [ he's sure sanji must know, too. that same feeling of quiet exhaustion that has come from this entire farce, from the island, and from here. how many people died from his group, because half of these killers had already known each other? ridiculous. the targeting--he's long since accepted his own, but the other kills of his week left him feeling more angry than anything else, zenitsu-- the alliances, the needless amounts of death and destruction....
yin yu's so tired. he just wants this to be over.
eventually, quietly, he speaks up again: ] I don't know what this week will have in store for us. I almost hope that this creature will be as monstrous as we're all expecting it to be.
[ because he would really, really like to kill it with his bare hands. ]
no subject
[Sanji thinks he might scream if the secret to beating the creature is through forgiveness, or being the better person despite how much they have suffered. Doesn't matter anymore if it makes him an ugly person; he's a bit tapped out as far as sympathy goes, and for once yearns for things to be straightforward and brutal. A simple solution for a simple goal.
They can only fuckin hope at this point.]
... We're almost done. The roles found who they needed to find, they're free of their responsibilities... I think it's just a waiting game at this point.
[And that -- no. Sanji immediately closes the door on the emotions that swell up in him, when he considers his former role. Sometimes skeletons are best left lurking in the closet.
And more importantly, he's just so tired]