[and despite everything, lili only looks a bit surprised, startled at the memory being shown. it's not anything pretty - rather, it's something desperate. there's an anger that curls around the memory, coupled with the burning in her throat. instinctively, her fingers come to her neck as if to soothe a phantom pain that's no longer there.
but then she looks to sanji and blinks, as if trying to find the words.]
... I didn't -
... You weren't meant to see that. [and then, surprisingly considerate - ] Sorry.
[Recovering quickly, and by the time Lili offers the apology, Sanji has reset his expression and blown out a sigh, even as his eyebrows continue to sit high on his forehead from all of... that.]
It just--
[reminded me of something
... No, he won't say that. Much too cruel. And those are memories best buried where no one can see them--
is what he wishes, but just as soon as that thought crosses his mind is when the scenery changes, and Lili and Sanji will find themselves on a large rock centered in a vast ocean.
Water is life, its absence powerful and deadly after three days. But food? Is made of a slower type of suffering when it's gone. The sun rises and sets in a blur of three months, and there's no boat, no escape -- just the incredible pain of living when hope starts to vanish and your body slowly wastes away. The food Lili sees in the tiny, emaciated hands of a child will rot and mold over, but they'll eat it anyway until there's nothing left.
it's the feelings that accompany the memory that manage to destroy her, just a bit. she'd gone days without water, and that was its own type of suffering. now, to go months with only the barest food, and recognizing someone else who sacrificed for a child -
it takes her a second, adjusting back to reality and looking at sanji.]
....
I'm -
Glad you lived.
[she's glad that he survived that, for all the struggle and horror involved.]
Heh - it was a long ass time ago, but... thank you.
[Said with a smile because the memory has long since scabbed over. Sometimes on the sea, there are no bad guys -- just rotten luck followed by a miracle.]
I found a family after that, so... can't really complain overall. That's more than what some people get.
[A smile meant for himself, but more so for her -- for the trauma she's also had to carry]
A person's true character comes out when it feels like they might lose everything. Giving into despair's the easy part... picking yourself back up is the real trick of it.
[Eh, but he ends up shrugging a little. Sanji is not made for heroic or heartfelt speeches, he thinks, not when it's much easier to just grin in solidarity]
Gotta say, you're quite the lady to experience all that and come out as you are on the other side.
[ . . . . is that the case? she wonders if that's true, if she can believe that. if it's alright for her to think so, when she chose to sign up for death if it meant protecting yona.]
... I don't know if it's anything that impressive.
[lili is pretty forward, and pretty demanding, and she exudes a certain level of confidence and command in all that she does but.]
I just got tired of being scared.
[it came from a very specific place of not wanting to disappoint people anymore.]
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God help his soul but he just. Stares at the sky for a hot second. GURL HE LOVES YOU BUT--]
I told him we could trust you, yeah.
[Mmmm bracing himself!!]
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[she starts
and she doesn't finish.
because it is fucking memshare week and a memory slides in instead.
sorry did we say business, we meant manslaughter.]
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That is
a mood killer.
And Sanji just makes a croaking noise in the back of his throat before his gaze swings to Lili. Yes, he expected this, but he didn't expect this]
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but then she looks to sanji and blinks, as if trying to find the words.]
... I didn't -
... You weren't meant to see that. [and then, surprisingly considerate - ] Sorry.
[she knows it isn't easy to live through.]
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[Recovering quickly, and by the time Lili offers the apology, Sanji has reset his expression and blown out a sigh, even as his eyebrows continue to sit high on his forehead from all of... that.]
It just--
[reminded me of something
... No, he won't say that. Much too cruel. And those are memories best buried where no one can see them--
is what he wishes, but just as soon as that thought crosses his mind is when the scenery changes, and Lili and Sanji will find themselves on a large rock centered in a vast ocean.
Water is life, its absence powerful and deadly after three days. But food? Is made of a slower type of suffering when it's gone. The sun rises and sets in a blur of three months, and there's no boat, no escape -- just the incredible pain of living when hope starts to vanish and your body slowly wastes away. The food Lili sees in the tiny, emaciated hands of a child will rot and mold over, but they'll eat it anyway until there's nothing left.
That is what life will look like... until desperation hits.
Honestly, Sanji's irritation is too vague to warrant anything besides a second sigh until the memory ends.]
Jeez. No one be me needs to experience that again...
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it's the feelings that accompany the memory that manage to destroy her, just a bit. she'd gone days without water, and that was its own type of suffering. now, to go months with only the barest food, and recognizing someone else who sacrificed for a child -
it takes her a second, adjusting back to reality and looking at sanji.]
....
I'm -
Glad you lived.
[she's glad that he survived that, for all the struggle and horror involved.]
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[Said with a smile because the memory has long since scabbed over. Sometimes on the sea, there are no bad guys -- just rotten luck followed by a miracle.]
I found a family after that, so... can't really complain overall. That's more than what some people get.
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... it is.
If your hardships led you to them then, and if you think it's worth it...
[that's pretty strong of him.]
Good.
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[A smile meant for himself, but more so for her -- for the trauma she's also had to carry]
A person's true character comes out when it feels like they might lose everything. Giving into despair's the easy part... picking yourself back up is the real trick of it.
[Eh, but he ends up shrugging a little. Sanji is not made for heroic or heartfelt speeches, he thinks, not when it's much easier to just grin in solidarity]
Gotta say, you're quite the lady to experience all that and come out as you are on the other side.
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... I don't know if it's anything that impressive.
[lili is pretty forward, and pretty demanding, and she exudes a certain level of confidence and command in all that she does but.]
I just got tired of being scared.
[it came from a very specific place of not wanting to disappoint people anymore.]