[You couldn't be honest if your dead mother paid you.
It's meant for Sanji - but Baren stops in his tracks too, the look of surprise washing over his face. There's no judgment, rather there's only an open moment of distress as if he's the one who's been found out—
And then the tree is ash. Baren wonders if he blinks and the rest of the forest will be in flames - and something in his chest aches at the idea. People need the wood from these trees, once whatever curse on them is lifted. Something in his ribcage twists as he reaches out to Sanji's shoulder and in a calmness to contrast Sanji's rage:]
The villagers don't need you destroying all their firewood, Sanj.
[Oh he could not give less of a shit about firewood or consequences, just as long as he kicks the trees hard enough to bleed, and for a moment Sanji's expression contorts, as if to turn his fury on whoever's got the balls to hold him back.
-- And then he's not allowed even that much, is he, when the trees angle for a new target. He hears what they say (of course he does, Sanji has always listened, even if he chose not to speak), and doubles down with a snarl]
You still wanna defend these shits?! I don't even care if it's true, I don't need to hear it if it's not from you!
[That's always been their way. It wasn't fuckin wrong. And he'll be damned if he stands here letting a shitty forest oak talk smack while he can do something about it--]
Burning the forest won't change a damn thing. You're still gonna wake up and be you, right? Even your family couldn't stand you -- it's why you fucked off and keep running away from everyone.
How long's it gonna last with Yusuke, eh? Two months? Maybe three? Go on, pretend to be optimistic, we dare you.
[And that-- seems to slap the fire right off of him, as Sanji's face turns pale]
[Baren opens his mouth to snap back because it's not about defending, it's about the fact that if Sanji burns the damn forest down then other people will have to suffer for it for no reason. They can handle their shit and no one else should have to pay that price. It's Baren inability to look away from the big picture -
Up until that second where he watches Sanji's face turn pale.
And it doesn't matter if the voice came from one direction, or multiple, but Baren unsheathes the knife that he carries with him - concealed, of course - and stabs it into the nearest oak if it means that it'll do anything to shut the trees up for even a second.]
Violence, violence, because that's all a beast's capable of doing!
[He ignores it. He snaps his fingers in front of Sanji's face if it means bringing him back to earth and forces their gazes to lock:]
Look at me.
[ - Yusuke, huh? Baren saw that coming, even if he didn't know it was official. What a way to find out. Still, he doesn't see how that makes a difference.]
Don't let these dipshits play you.
Isn't that hysterical? Coming from someone who doesn't even know if he can love the person who's given him everything! Just hurry up and admit that you're broken.
[His wince is small.
But it's there.]
WOW THIS WAS A RUDE THING TO WAKE UP TO, I TELL YA
[Oh no worries, Baren. Sanji's fine, just look at him, having fallen so far from his temper tantrum that his expression reads blank and lost. He'll look at Baren because his friend demands it, but then it means he gets front seat viewing to Baren's little wince.
... They are such a fuckin pair right now.]
S'fine, they're not telling me shit I don't know.
[Which is the only card he thinks he has left in his hand, to be a dismissive prick about it. But fuck, what of it? He knows how he is, he knows--]
You're just gonna lose him and everyone else 'cause you can't keep your shit together.
[Yeah. That. Too bad it's lot harder to threaten the forest now that Baren's knocked him from his high, and he... shrugs, moving to stick his hands in his pockets.
Baren might see a bright flash of red from the underside of Sanji's wrist if he's paying attention.]
It's easier to pay attention to other people, it's what he's always done. Easier to take care of others than to take care of himself, because they deserve it more than he does. So even with the ache of the words that he knows - that he still hates to hear - he tells Sanji something simple:]
You know how sometimes you don't listen to me even when I'm being truthful, even when we made a deal - I need you to cut that shit out.
Because I'm starting to run out of people who'll listen to me, and I can't afford to lose you too.
[ - "You're not going to lose me."
If that sort of thing matters.
The trees seem to pick up on it as they snicker.]
There's the self-important grandstanding. Act like you have all the answers, make people rely on you, and maybe they'll ignore how desperate you are not to be left alone.
Why do you keep reaching for what you know you don't deserve?
[Even though he expects it, Baren's brow furrows in response to the taunts, his expression twisting for just a second into something that looks - younger, more lost.
His fingers press into his palm, a poor substitute when he only wants to look for a hand to hold.]
[That's a hiss aimed at the trees, for the record, even if it's a few degrees below the kind of anger he normally pulls out.
And it's no coincidence that he decided to lash out instead of responding to Baren's kindness outside of a flickered stare, the briefest pause of vulnerability before averting his gaze.
A gun could be placed at his temple and he still wouldn't know how to respond to open kindness, Baren. You fuckin know that.]
... Oi, c'mon.
[He grabs Baren's wrist -- not hand, he doesn't know how to do that either -- and starts pulling in the direction of the village, will put effort into it if Baren starts getting uppity with him.]
Oh? Running already? Didn't take long.
Yeah, you're damn right I am. [Pushing Baren to the front of him, and standing like a barrier between him and as many trees he can manage] If there's no point to this bullshit, we're leaving.
[He's not going to stand here with a thumb up his ass, listening to them rag on one of the few friends he's got.]
[ - he just barely manages to collect his knife from the tree before he gets pulled along and.
Sanji doesn't need to know how to grab onto Baren's hand. Baren will feel his heart leap up to his throat, clawing and lodging itself there, preventing him from speaking his gratitude.
It's hard to walk away from something you think you deserve - the pushing and the pushing to the breaking point where Baren thinks Sanji will focus in on that reason to leave him. His fever starts to settle in as the mark on his wrist spreads even underneath Sanji's touch, growing and stinging even as Baren tries to obscure his expression into a passive mask.
It may or may not do much, given how he feels his composure starting to break.]
He thinks it's bullshit? Where did that faith come from? Doesn't he know that he's trying to save a failure? Someone whose heart is so twisted that he torments his own blood? Doesn't this deceit make you just like your cheating father, Baren Kumou?
[Baren bites his own tongue so hard in that moment that he tastes iron. A snap judgment could acknowledge it as truth, could make that connection real, could let loose a secret that he's been holding onto for a decade.
Instead his hand just twists to catch Sanji's wrist, as if asking him not to let go.]
Tch!! Like I need to hear this from overgrown firewood!
[The fact Baren isn't the one talking doesn't escape his notice, and Sanji feels his voice bolstered from that truth, making a target of himself as he snaps back a retort. The fury's building back up, forever his shield and sword when he needs them most.
His hand squeezes around Baren's wrist -- he knows, idiot.]
He's no more his father than I am mine, and believe me, that piece of shit tried.
[Has he ever talked about his father in front of anyone? No, never, Sanji can't remember the last time the bastard came up. But if he has to speak of him to save a friend, then he'll do it wth the hatred of a broken childhood long lost to him.]
Even if he was a failure, it's fine -- [A comically lax shrug, contrasted to the heat in his voice] I'm one, too. We'll figure it out.
[The mark imprinted on Baren's wrist stings, as if condemning his silence -
But even now, Baren never expects someone to speak on his behalf like this, never expects a defense this strong for someone like him. He feels the fever, knows it's the curse, understands that the trees have something to do with it, but... for a few indulgent, selfish seconds he wants to remember this. This moment where Sanji is defending him despite knowing nothing.
... if he knew the truth, would that matter?
They begin to exit the woods and Baren only starts to find his voice again, if only because these words are easy.]
... you're not a failure, Sanj.
[The trees laugh. They mock them. Even as Baren starts to feel uneasy on his feet, his mind still races to figure out what he can do to stop this - to heal himself. He was there when it happened to Odasaku, right. He can reference that. He just needs to -
Admit it.
If Sanji knew the truth, would he still defend him?]
I need something from you.
[Is Baren enough of a coward to live in a lie, if it means comfort?
How badly does he want to hold onto this?
His wrist still burns, this time from where Sanji is holding it.]
But of course there isn't. Sanji's strengths play towards the defense of others, to anyone he deems worthy. Kindness, some might say, though fuck if he'd ever use that word.
That's only toward others, however. Never for himself. This man didn't learn how to play in the sandbox with his own demons.
It's a thought he quickly ships out to sea with practiced ease, because this isn't about him anymore, he insists. Baren needs to get out of this forest. He's been quiet for so long, warning signs that the trees are hitting their target.
So when he slows, it's only upon hearing his friend pipe up a second time, speaking with a gravity that puts the weight of the crossroads in Sanji's bones.
He remembers the last time Baren had asked something of him.]
Name it.
[So he matches tone for tone, cutting a blazing stare over his shoulder that shows how much he means it. Name it.
Baren manages a laugh, because he'd always said that if he's going to stay alive, he'd like to spend the rest of his life laughing. This laughter is different. It's weaker, even if it still holds that flicker of genuine amusement. It nearly drowns in the disbelief.
Name it.]
I don't lie. Not to you.
[It's true.
Kyouko and Sanji were the only ones who asked that of Baren in return - but Kyouko doesn't remember anymore, does she? Baren still holds up his promises, but they don't mean anything to anyone not on the network.
In this whole city, Sanji holds the position of the sole holder of Baren's truth.
His lips spread out into a smile that he doesn't mean.]
If I tell you this - you're with me until I decide you're not.
[If the words sound rehearsed, it's because they're not his. They're a mirror of what Zoro had once said to Baren in the comfort of a room meant for just the two of them. Baren's ribcage beats angrily in his chest as he opens up his old scars, remembers a loss that he felt and feels so keenly that he refused to mention it to anyone.
The trees reveal his secret:]
His swordsman said that. His knight left him behind. It's only a matter of time before the rest follow, but look at his pale attempt to hold on.
[Baren can't ask Sanji to be his first mate.
That position's taken.
But to appeal to a pirate, why not borrow the words of a pirate?]
Not like the swordsman had been. It was a simple matter for that bastard, Sanji thinks, to swear himself to whatever cause was closest and worthy. A hound on the hunt for a master.
Sanji, though... maybe he's too stubborn, too bitter, too cautious to embrace that kind of life. He'll bare his teeth at anyone who thinks to own him. So he watches Baren quietly, considering their positions despite already pledging his word to obey.
He laughs - despite everything. It holds more humor this time, because if nothing else, Sanji is pretty good at making him laugh. Even when he doesn't mean to. This is how they talk to each other. It's comfortable. He tries to remind himself of that even as he tries to find the words for a story that he's only told one other person int he city - ]
They're right. [the trees, the things they said, everything they'd mentioned] Everything they'd said.
Asahi Kaiyou, she'd been an actress, until a pair of twins happened. In love with some cheating bastard from the Kumou family, but it's not like he was going to leave his lifestyle for a mistress. He kept the scandal quiet, cut her off and -
The twins were supposed to be her revenge. Learn everything to get back to the top, then ruin him. That was her plan, we were— [We were her revenge plan.] ... a mistake, in the end.
[His hold on Sanji's wrist turns weaker, as if he's no longer sure if he has the right to hold on. The mark on his wrist continues to blaze brightly.]
... some things you don't unlearn.
[Some things make you a little too scarred to think you have a right to anyone.]
[... It's not an unfamiliar story to him, though Sanji holds his tongue through Baren's tale. You wanna know how ugly shit gets in the mafia? Bastard children run around like the offspring of unfaithful kings, all with their dreams of toppling an empire. He isn't surprised by the actions of Baren's mother.
He's just... disappointed it had to be Baren of all people.]
What, so you got dirt on that jackass? [That part isn't clear, so Sanji's question is honest -- though of course he doesn't stop talking. Of course he doesn't. Because it's not an answer he cares about one way or another.]
Listen, Baren -- however you might's jacked up your old man, that doesn't make your life a crime. [he removes his hand from Baren's, only to turn and poke him irritably in the chest.]
You're not a mistake. You're just a goddamn bleeding heart whose allergic to honesty and gets bored easily.
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It's meant for Sanji - but Baren stops in his tracks too, the look of surprise washing over his face. There's no judgment, rather there's only an open moment of distress as if he's the one who's been found out—
And then the tree is ash. Baren wonders if he blinks and the rest of the forest will be in flames - and something in his chest aches at the idea. People need the wood from these trees, once whatever curse on them is lifted. Something in his ribcage twists as he reaches out to Sanji's shoulder and in a calmness to contrast Sanji's rage:]
The villagers don't need you destroying all their firewood, Sanj.
[Sense, logic, rationality. Long-term consequences. Maybe that'll appeal.
Even as the trees seem to laugh at them, now poking fun at Baren.]
Are those the calculating, manipulative methods your mother dearest taught you? It figures that this is all you'd be able to amount to.
[Baren's hand on Sanji's shoulder tightens once - automatically, uncomfortably - before he pulls it away.]
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-- And then he's not allowed even that much, is he, when the trees angle for a new target. He hears what they say (of course he does, Sanji has always listened, even if he chose not to speak), and doubles down with a snarl]
You still wanna defend these shits?! I don't even care if it's true, I don't need to hear it if it's not from you!
[That's always been their way. It wasn't fuckin wrong. And he'll be damned if he stands here letting a shitty forest oak talk smack while he can do something about it--]
Burning the forest won't change a damn thing. You're still gonna wake up and be you, right? Even your family couldn't stand you -- it's why you fucked off and keep running away from everyone.
How long's it gonna last with Yusuke, eh? Two months? Maybe three? Go on, pretend to be optimistic, we dare you.
[And that-- seems to slap the fire right off of him, as Sanji's face turns pale]
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Up until that second where he watches Sanji's face turn pale.
And it doesn't matter if the voice came from one direction, or multiple, but Baren unsheathes the knife that he carries with him - concealed, of course - and stabs it into the nearest oak if it means that it'll do anything to shut the trees up for even a second.]
Violence, violence, because that's all a beast's capable of doing!
[He ignores it. He snaps his fingers in front of Sanji's face if it means bringing him back to earth and forces their gazes to lock:]
Look at me.
[ - Yusuke, huh? Baren saw that coming, even if he didn't know it was official. What a way to find out. Still, he doesn't see how that makes a difference.]
Don't let these dipshits play you.
Isn't that hysterical? Coming from someone who doesn't even know if he can love the person who's given him everything!
Just hurry up and admit that you're broken.
[His wince is small.
But it's there.]
WOW THIS WAS A RUDE THING TO WAKE UP TO, I TELL YA
... They are such a fuckin pair right now.]
S'fine, they're not telling me shit I don't know.
[Which is the only card he thinks he has left in his hand, to be a dismissive prick about it. But fuck, what of it? He knows how he is, he knows--]
You're just gonna lose him and everyone else 'cause you can't keep your shit together.
[Yeah. That. Too bad it's lot harder to threaten the forest now that Baren's knocked him from his high, and he... shrugs, moving to stick his hands in his pockets.
Baren might see a bright flash of red from the underside of Sanji's wrist if he's paying attention.]
WE'RE ONLY GOING TO GET RUDER FROM HERE
It's easier to pay attention to other people, it's what he's always done. Easier to take care of others than to take care of himself, because they deserve it more than he does. So even with the ache of the words that he knows - that he still hates to hear - he tells Sanji something simple:]
You know how sometimes you don't listen to me even when I'm being truthful, even when we made a deal - I need you to cut that shit out.
Because I'm starting to run out of people who'll listen to me, and I can't afford to lose you too.
[ - "You're not going to lose me."
If that sort of thing matters.
The trees seem to pick up on it as they snicker.]
There's the self-important grandstanding. Act like you have all the answers, make people rely on you, and maybe they'll ignore how desperate you are not to be left alone.
Why do you keep reaching for what you know you don't deserve?
[Even though he expects it, Baren's brow furrows in response to the taunts, his expression twisting for just a second into something that looks - younger, more lost.
His fingers press into his palm, a poor substitute when he only wants to look for a hand to hold.]
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[That's a hiss aimed at the trees, for the record, even if it's a few degrees below the kind of anger he normally pulls out.
And it's no coincidence that he decided to lash out instead of responding to Baren's kindness outside of a flickered stare, the briefest pause of vulnerability before averting his gaze.
A gun could be placed at his temple and he still wouldn't know how to respond to open kindness, Baren. You fuckin know that.]
... Oi, c'mon.
[He grabs Baren's wrist -- not hand, he doesn't know how to do that either -- and starts pulling in the direction of the village, will put effort into it if Baren starts getting uppity with him.]
Oh? Running already? Didn't take long.
Yeah, you're damn right I am. [Pushing Baren to the front of him, and standing like a barrier between him and as many trees he can manage] If there's no point to this bullshit, we're leaving.
[He's not going to stand here with a thumb up his ass, listening to them rag on one of the few friends he's got.]
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Sanji doesn't need to know how to grab onto Baren's hand. Baren will feel his heart leap up to his throat, clawing and lodging itself there, preventing him from speaking his gratitude.
It's hard to walk away from something you think you deserve - the pushing and the pushing to the breaking point where Baren thinks Sanji will focus in on that reason to leave him. His fever starts to settle in as the mark on his wrist spreads even underneath Sanji's touch, growing and stinging even as Baren tries to obscure his expression into a passive mask.
It may or may not do much, given how he feels his composure starting to break.]
He thinks it's bullshit? Where did that faith come from? Doesn't he know that he's trying to save a failure? Someone whose heart is so twisted that he torments his own blood? Doesn't this deceit make you just like your cheating father, Baren Kumou?
[Baren bites his own tongue so hard in that moment that he tastes iron. A snap judgment could acknowledge it as truth, could make that connection real, could let loose a secret that he's been holding onto for a decade.
Instead his hand just twists to catch Sanji's wrist, as if asking him not to let go.]
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[The fact Baren isn't the one talking doesn't escape his notice, and Sanji feels his voice bolstered from that truth, making a target of himself as he snaps back a retort. The fury's building back up, forever his shield and sword when he needs them most.
His hand squeezes around Baren's wrist -- he knows, idiot.]
He's no more his father than I am mine, and believe me, that piece of shit tried.
[Has he ever talked about his father in front of anyone? No, never, Sanji can't remember the last time the bastard came up. But if he has to speak of him to save a friend, then he'll do it wth the hatred of a broken childhood long lost to him.]
Even if he was a failure, it's fine -- [A comically lax shrug, contrasted to the heat in his voice] I'm one, too. We'll figure it out.
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But even now, Baren never expects someone to speak on his behalf like this, never expects a defense this strong for someone like him. He feels the fever, knows it's the curse, understands that the trees have something to do with it, but... for a few indulgent, selfish seconds he wants to remember this. This moment where Sanji is defending him despite knowing nothing.
... if he knew the truth, would that matter?
They begin to exit the woods and Baren only starts to find his voice again, if only because these words are easy.]
... you're not a failure, Sanj.
[The trees laugh. They mock them. Even as Baren starts to feel uneasy on his feet, his mind still races to figure out what he can do to stop this - to heal himself. He was there when it happened to Odasaku, right. He can reference that. He just needs to -
Admit it.
If Sanji knew the truth, would he still defend him?]
I need something from you.
[Is Baren enough of a coward to live in a lie, if it means comfort?
How badly does he want to hold onto this?
His wrist still burns, this time from where Sanji is holding it.]
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But of course there isn't. Sanji's strengths play towards the defense of others, to anyone he deems worthy. Kindness, some might say, though fuck if he'd ever use that word.
That's only toward others, however. Never for himself. This man didn't learn how to play in the sandbox with his own demons.
It's a thought he quickly ships out to sea with practiced ease, because this isn't about him anymore, he insists. Baren needs to get out of this forest. He's been quiet for so long, warning signs that the trees are hitting their target.
So when he slows, it's only upon hearing his friend pipe up a second time, speaking with a gravity that puts the weight of the crossroads in Sanji's bones.
He remembers the last time Baren had asked something of him.]
Name it.
[So he matches tone for tone, cutting a blazing stare over his shoulder that shows how much he means it. Name it.
He'll do anything.]
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Baren manages a laugh, because he'd always said that if he's going to stay alive, he'd like to spend the rest of his life laughing. This laughter is different. It's weaker, even if it still holds that flicker of genuine amusement. It nearly drowns in the disbelief.
Name it.]
I don't lie. Not to you.
[It's true.
Kyouko and Sanji were the only ones who asked that of Baren in return - but Kyouko doesn't remember anymore, does she? Baren still holds up his promises, but they don't mean anything to anyone not on the network.
In this whole city, Sanji holds the position of the sole holder of Baren's truth.
His lips spread out into a smile that he doesn't mean.]
If I tell you this - you're with me until I decide you're not.
[If the words sound rehearsed, it's because they're not his. They're a mirror of what Zoro had once said to Baren in the comfort of a room meant for just the two of them. Baren's ribcage beats angrily in his chest as he opens up his old scars, remembers a loss that he felt and feels so keenly that he refused to mention it to anyone.
The trees reveal his secret:]
His swordsman said that. His knight left him behind. It's only a matter of time before the rest follow, but look at his pale attempt to hold on.
[Baren can't ask Sanji to be his first mate.
That position's taken.
But to appeal to a pirate, why not borrow the words of a pirate?]
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Not like the swordsman had been. It was a simple matter for that bastard, Sanji thinks, to swear himself to whatever cause was closest and worthy. A hound on the hunt for a master.
Sanji, though... maybe he's too stubborn, too bitter, too cautious to embrace that kind of life. He'll bare his teeth at anyone who thinks to own him. So he watches Baren quietly, considering their positions despite already pledging his word to obey.
... And tells himself it's fine.
It's fine.
He doesn't need to handle this like Zoro.
His smile is tired when it crosses his face]
Just spit it out, dumbass.
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Baren supposes he's about to find out.
He laughs - despite everything. It holds more humor this time, because if nothing else, Sanji is pretty good at making him laugh. Even when he doesn't mean to. This is how they talk to each other. It's comfortable. He tries to remind himself of that even as he tries to find the words for a story that he's only told one other person int he city - ]
They're right. [the trees, the things they said, everything they'd mentioned] Everything they'd said.
Asahi Kaiyou, she'd been an actress, until a pair of twins happened. In love with some cheating bastard from the Kumou family, but it's not like he was going to leave his lifestyle for a mistress. He kept the scandal quiet, cut her off and -
The twins were supposed to be her revenge. Learn everything to get back to the top, then ruin him. That was her plan, we were— [We were her revenge plan.] ... a mistake, in the end.
[His hold on Sanji's wrist turns weaker, as if he's no longer sure if he has the right to hold on. The mark on his wrist continues to blaze brightly.]
... some things you don't unlearn.
[Some things make you a little too scarred to think you have a right to anyone.]
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He's just... disappointed it had to be Baren of all people.]
What, so you got dirt on that jackass? [That part isn't clear, so Sanji's question is honest -- though of course he doesn't stop talking. Of course he doesn't. Because it's not an answer he cares about one way or another.]
Listen, Baren -- however you might's jacked up your old man, that doesn't make your life a crime. [he removes his hand from Baren's, only to turn and poke him irritably in the chest.]
You're not a mistake. You're just a goddamn bleeding heart whose allergic to honesty and gets bored easily.