But of course there isn't. Sanji's strengths play towards the defense of others, to anyone he deems worthy. Kindness, some might say, though fuck if he'd ever use that word.
That's only toward others, however. Never for himself. This man didn't learn how to play in the sandbox with his own demons.
It's a thought he quickly ships out to sea with practiced ease, because this isn't about him anymore, he insists. Baren needs to get out of this forest. He's been quiet for so long, warning signs that the trees are hitting their target.
So when he slows, it's only upon hearing his friend pipe up a second time, speaking with a gravity that puts the weight of the crossroads in Sanji's bones.
He remembers the last time Baren had asked something of him.]
Name it.
[So he matches tone for tone, cutting a blazing stare over his shoulder that shows how much he means it. Name it.
Baren manages a laugh, because he'd always said that if he's going to stay alive, he'd like to spend the rest of his life laughing. This laughter is different. It's weaker, even if it still holds that flicker of genuine amusement. It nearly drowns in the disbelief.
Name it.]
I don't lie. Not to you.
[It's true.
Kyouko and Sanji were the only ones who asked that of Baren in return - but Kyouko doesn't remember anymore, does she? Baren still holds up his promises, but they don't mean anything to anyone not on the network.
In this whole city, Sanji holds the position of the sole holder of Baren's truth.
His lips spread out into a smile that he doesn't mean.]
If I tell you this - you're with me until I decide you're not.
[If the words sound rehearsed, it's because they're not his. They're a mirror of what Zoro had once said to Baren in the comfort of a room meant for just the two of them. Baren's ribcage beats angrily in his chest as he opens up his old scars, remembers a loss that he felt and feels so keenly that he refused to mention it to anyone.
The trees reveal his secret:]
His swordsman said that. His knight left him behind. It's only a matter of time before the rest follow, but look at his pale attempt to hold on.
[Baren can't ask Sanji to be his first mate.
That position's taken.
But to appeal to a pirate, why not borrow the words of a pirate?]
Not like the swordsman had been. It was a simple matter for that bastard, Sanji thinks, to swear himself to whatever cause was closest and worthy. A hound on the hunt for a master.
Sanji, though... maybe he's too stubborn, too bitter, too cautious to embrace that kind of life. He'll bare his teeth at anyone who thinks to own him. So he watches Baren quietly, considering their positions despite already pledging his word to obey.
He laughs - despite everything. It holds more humor this time, because if nothing else, Sanji is pretty good at making him laugh. Even when he doesn't mean to. This is how they talk to each other. It's comfortable. He tries to remind himself of that even as he tries to find the words for a story that he's only told one other person int he city - ]
They're right. [the trees, the things they said, everything they'd mentioned] Everything they'd said.
Asahi Kaiyou, she'd been an actress, until a pair of twins happened. In love with some cheating bastard from the Kumou family, but it's not like he was going to leave his lifestyle for a mistress. He kept the scandal quiet, cut her off and -
The twins were supposed to be her revenge. Learn everything to get back to the top, then ruin him. That was her plan, we were— [We were her revenge plan.] ... a mistake, in the end.
[His hold on Sanji's wrist turns weaker, as if he's no longer sure if he has the right to hold on. The mark on his wrist continues to blaze brightly.]
... some things you don't unlearn.
[Some things make you a little too scarred to think you have a right to anyone.]
[... It's not an unfamiliar story to him, though Sanji holds his tongue through Baren's tale. You wanna know how ugly shit gets in the mafia? Bastard children run around like the offspring of unfaithful kings, all with their dreams of toppling an empire. He isn't surprised by the actions of Baren's mother.
He's just... disappointed it had to be Baren of all people.]
What, so you got dirt on that jackass? [That part isn't clear, so Sanji's question is honest -- though of course he doesn't stop talking. Of course he doesn't. Because it's not an answer he cares about one way or another.]
Listen, Baren -- however you might's jacked up your old man, that doesn't make your life a crime. [he removes his hand from Baren's, only to turn and poke him irritably in the chest.]
You're not a mistake. You're just a goddamn bleeding heart whose allergic to honesty and gets bored easily.
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no subject
But of course there isn't. Sanji's strengths play towards the defense of others, to anyone he deems worthy. Kindness, some might say, though fuck if he'd ever use that word.
That's only toward others, however. Never for himself. This man didn't learn how to play in the sandbox with his own demons.
It's a thought he quickly ships out to sea with practiced ease, because this isn't about him anymore, he insists. Baren needs to get out of this forest. He's been quiet for so long, warning signs that the trees are hitting their target.
So when he slows, it's only upon hearing his friend pipe up a second time, speaking with a gravity that puts the weight of the crossroads in Sanji's bones.
He remembers the last time Baren had asked something of him.]
Name it.
[So he matches tone for tone, cutting a blazing stare over his shoulder that shows how much he means it. Name it.
He'll do anything.]
no subject
Baren manages a laugh, because he'd always said that if he's going to stay alive, he'd like to spend the rest of his life laughing. This laughter is different. It's weaker, even if it still holds that flicker of genuine amusement. It nearly drowns in the disbelief.
Name it.]
I don't lie. Not to you.
[It's true.
Kyouko and Sanji were the only ones who asked that of Baren in return - but Kyouko doesn't remember anymore, does she? Baren still holds up his promises, but they don't mean anything to anyone not on the network.
In this whole city, Sanji holds the position of the sole holder of Baren's truth.
His lips spread out into a smile that he doesn't mean.]
If I tell you this - you're with me until I decide you're not.
[If the words sound rehearsed, it's because they're not his. They're a mirror of what Zoro had once said to Baren in the comfort of a room meant for just the two of them. Baren's ribcage beats angrily in his chest as he opens up his old scars, remembers a loss that he felt and feels so keenly that he refused to mention it to anyone.
The trees reveal his secret:]
His swordsman said that. His knight left him behind. It's only a matter of time before the rest follow, but look at his pale attempt to hold on.
[Baren can't ask Sanji to be his first mate.
That position's taken.
But to appeal to a pirate, why not borrow the words of a pirate?]
no subject
Not like the swordsman had been. It was a simple matter for that bastard, Sanji thinks, to swear himself to whatever cause was closest and worthy. A hound on the hunt for a master.
Sanji, though... maybe he's too stubborn, too bitter, too cautious to embrace that kind of life. He'll bare his teeth at anyone who thinks to own him. So he watches Baren quietly, considering their positions despite already pledging his word to obey.
... And tells himself it's fine.
It's fine.
He doesn't need to handle this like Zoro.
His smile is tired when it crosses his face]
Just spit it out, dumbass.
no subject
Baren supposes he's about to find out.
He laughs - despite everything. It holds more humor this time, because if nothing else, Sanji is pretty good at making him laugh. Even when he doesn't mean to. This is how they talk to each other. It's comfortable. He tries to remind himself of that even as he tries to find the words for a story that he's only told one other person int he city - ]
They're right. [the trees, the things they said, everything they'd mentioned] Everything they'd said.
Asahi Kaiyou, she'd been an actress, until a pair of twins happened. In love with some cheating bastard from the Kumou family, but it's not like he was going to leave his lifestyle for a mistress. He kept the scandal quiet, cut her off and -
The twins were supposed to be her revenge. Learn everything to get back to the top, then ruin him. That was her plan, we were— [We were her revenge plan.] ... a mistake, in the end.
[His hold on Sanji's wrist turns weaker, as if he's no longer sure if he has the right to hold on. The mark on his wrist continues to blaze brightly.]
... some things you don't unlearn.
[Some things make you a little too scarred to think you have a right to anyone.]
no subject
He's just... disappointed it had to be Baren of all people.]
What, so you got dirt on that jackass? [That part isn't clear, so Sanji's question is honest -- though of course he doesn't stop talking. Of course he doesn't. Because it's not an answer he cares about one way or another.]
Listen, Baren -- however you might's jacked up your old man, that doesn't make your life a crime. [he removes his hand from Baren's, only to turn and poke him irritably in the chest.]
You're not a mistake. You're just a goddamn bleeding heart whose allergic to honesty and gets bored easily.