[We'll they're dead and that's just great, but Sanji will seek out Hikage because... well. He's not sure how much he can talk about anything, but fuck it, he's going to try. Information is the only currency they got left.]
Oi, c'mon.
[...]
I can at least give you an idea on how Steph-chan and Belph and doing on the other side.
[ Hikage won't be too hard to find - he's just in the food court. Not that he's eating anything; no, he's writing something down in a random notebook he must have scavenged from the store, although Sanji won't be able to read his elegantly-penned kanji.
Frankly, knowledge about Steph and Belph is exactly what he was hoping to get out of Sanji -- he just wasn't straightforward enough with his emotions to outright ask. He opens his mouth, briefly, as if he's going to critique him, then shuts it. ]
... I'm not gonna bullshit you. I'm worried about Belph.
[Straight to the point, this one, and frankly Sanji doesn't bother to hide the concern in both his voice and expression. He cares about Steph-chan, of course he does, but it's Belph that makes his stomach turn in knots]
He was managing alright after you died -- depressed as all hell, but y'know how he is -- hiding it and trying to focus on other things. [Folding his arms with a sigh]
I'm not gonna overstate my shitty importance in his life, but he was depending on me to... I dunno. Be like I was at the castle and handle things. [And to not fuckin die] He's still got Steph-chan, and she has him, but I just don't want him cracking further.
[ the straightforwardness is appreciated. Hikage's never been one to beat around the bush. The information is about what he expected, but it doesn't make it easier to hear - especially not from someone else. He's so used to being trapped in his own head, and Belph keeps his emotions locked in his; knowing he's not the only one who can see that there's something wrong with his friend is validating, in a way. It would be nicer if it was validating something other than his fragile emotional state.
They really are a pair, him and Belph. He could almost laugh. ]
... As soon as we showed up here, I thought this might happen. [ a sigh through his nose. ] He was barely hanging on in the castle. Stephanie's not invincible, either. But his heart is weak. The kind I would have...
[ he starts, then bites his tongue, pausing before continuing. ]
... If he loses Stephanie, he might give up. He's not interested in his own life.
[ this wasn't what was supposed to happen. The least Hikage could do was be there for him, but even that ability has been taken from him now. He pinches the bridge of his nose. ]
[There aren't many things that Sanji regrets in his life -- it's just not in his nature when it's better to grit your teeth through whatever is handed to you. Even here, in this stupid ass camp where they're playing another death game, Sanji refuses to cry about the choices he's made. The choices that killed him.
-- But hearing that Belph might give up? That is terrifying, and Sanji feels grief swell up in his chest like an ocean current. The only reason it doesn't show up on his face is Hikage keeps talking]
Mm. From last week. I can talk to one of the living for a little while.
[ he'd been mulling it over in his head for a while, anyway. ]
I can tell him what I know. And...
[ and what? He doesn't actually know how this item works; he might get censored if he tries to talk, and he almost certainly has a limit on how much he can say. There's no way they'd just give the dead free rein to talk with someone. Hikage doesn't know how to face him after everything outside of sharing information. In his mind, it's the only thing of value he has to offer Belph that might help him through this. ]
... I could show him that I haven't given up yet, either. [ a beat. ] I'm partially to blame. I need to do something for him.
[Sanji supposes it's the romantic in him, that looks immediately pleased and supportive at the prospect of Hikage going to see Belph. He and his friend never really had the sharing and caring type of friendship to be honest, when they were both often searching for ways to escape their own helplessness, but--]
I know he'll be happy to see you at all.
[Getting information out there is important, yeah, except Sanji's a selfish bastard who just wants his friend to feel better above all else]
[ sharing and caring is foreign to him, too. He doesn't know what he'll end up saying, but he at least wants to see him. It'll be good to be face to face again - remind Belph that he's not gone yet. It's lonely without him. Hikage's gotten so used to having friends so quickly in these past few weeks; it's frightening to even remember how things used to be. The look on Sanji's face makes him feel a little awkward, and he glances away. ]
... Don't expect much. It's only me.
[ he doubts he'll have that much of an impact; he'd always relied on Belph more than the other way around. ]
[Muttered more to himself than to Hikage, Sanji feeling something akin to exasperation taking over. Belph isn't really the tsundere type so much as he's just quick to throw himself under the bus, underplaying his importance in other people's lives, but seeing similar patterns reflected in Hikage is... jeez.
Poor Steph. She went and fell in love with two dumbasses.]
Belph was so depressed after you died, I was tempted to move in just so I could make sure his ass was eating properly.
[Doxxing his sorta best friend?? Yeah. Yeah he's gonna. Sanji's trying to prove a point]
Not gonna lie -- I was panicking. S'not like I'm great at talking other people out of their feelings. [...] I'm not expecting you to work miracles, life doesn't work like that, but you know how hard he was working to find your killer? He misses you.
[ it's strange; both Belph and Steph have told him themselves that they care about him, and he believes them. How can he not, after everything they've been through together - after showing them both parts of him and still being accepted by them? Even so, hearing from a third party how his own disappearance could affect them so strongly moves him. Especially affecting Belph - Belph, who did his best to act like nothing ever bothered him. He blinks in surprise, then rubs his nose, a thinly-veiled method of hiding the faint flush on his cheeks.
It feels so warm. Maybe he really is alive again. ]
... That idiot. He's only honest when I'm not around. [ baka............ in any case, he shakes his head, eager to get away from this topic before Sanji catches him having emotions or something. ] What about Stephanie?
[ he gives Sanji a good chance to cool off - Hikage needs it too, frankly. Despite how he seems, he's not usually the violent type, if only because he's not built for it. This, though - this makes him angry enough that he wants to strike. But it would accomplish nothing while he's stuck in this miserable store. Instead, he bottles it up inside.
When he runs into Beau, he can open it up again. ]
Sanji. [ hey look, an upgrade from "hey you." ] ... How much of that did you remember?
[Look at them making progress. First name basis. Though Sanji's eyebrow arches faintly at the question.
He isn't doing anything in particular -- just sitting and thinking, because sometimes that's all there is to do in this bitch of a costco -- but his head still cants in Hikage's direction before he replies]
[Folding his arms because frankly, talking about role shit is much easier than swallowing the failure of his death, ha ha]
Just couldn't say shit -- that was the number 1 rule of having a role. No matter how much you wanted to tell other people, you had to keep it to yourself unless you knew for certain someone else had a role.
[...]
So that's why my job was necessary. I had to gather all the bastards who had roles so we could coordinate.
[ he hums, crossing his arms. It's hard to decide how to feel about this, since Sanji was ostensibly trying to coordinate killings - but, ultimately, Sanji wasn't responsible for his death. Or he has to assume he wasn't. ]
Nope. Not a shitty clue. I was planning on checking out Wei Wuxian the week I got my ass killed, but ended up looking over Flayn-chan instead.
[It's hilarious in retrospect. Sanji was going to find a killer that week no matter what, even if he didn't realize it.]
And honestly? They probably chose you because they wanted to target someone they thought wouldn't be as missed by the group, and like hell they were gonna chose the people they cared about.
[... It's very, very harsh assessment, but one Sanji gives neutrally. Because that's the criteria he used when plotting his own kills. He eliminated children out of morality, women because he's biased, and his friends because he's selfish. So he sure as hell ain't gonna sweet-talk the moral high ground here.]
Don't take my word for it. You're gonna have to ask them to know the reason.
[ maybe it's harsh to the average person, but Hikage doesn't even flinch. It's the truth - he knows it's the truth. Even before all of this happened, the world-hopping and his memories returning, he'd always been acutely aware of exactly how he fits into any crowd. He's unkind, not particularly strong, and difficult to get along with. Of course he's a natural target.
Still. Now there's a part of him that wonders why it had to be him and not someone else weak and unfriendly. ]
... I guess a more complex reason was too much to hope for. [ frustrated sigh. ] What a pointless death.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
W5 || Monday
Oi, c'mon.
[...]
I can at least give you an idea on how Steph-chan and Belph and doing on the other side.
no subject
Frankly, knowledge about Steph and Belph is exactly what he was hoping to get out of Sanji -- he just wasn't straightforward enough with his emotions to outright ask. He opens his mouth, briefly, as if he's going to critique him, then shuts it. ]
... Tell me.
[ he's worried!! ]
no subject
[Straight to the point, this one, and frankly Sanji doesn't bother to hide the concern in both his voice and expression. He cares about Steph-chan, of course he does, but it's Belph that makes his stomach turn in knots]
He was managing alright after you died -- depressed as all hell, but y'know how he is -- hiding it and trying to focus on other things. [Folding his arms with a sigh]
I'm not gonna overstate my shitty importance in his life, but he was depending on me to... I dunno. Be like I was at the castle and handle things. [And to not fuckin die] He's still got Steph-chan, and she has him, but I just don't want him cracking further.
no subject
They really are a pair, him and Belph. He could almost laugh. ]
... As soon as we showed up here, I thought this might happen. [ a sigh through his nose. ] He was barely hanging on in the castle. Stephanie's not invincible, either. But his heart is weak. The kind I would have...
[ he starts, then bites his tongue, pausing before continuing. ]
... If he loses Stephanie, he might give up. He's not interested in his own life.
[ this wasn't what was supposed to happen. The least Hikage could do was be there for him, but even that ability has been taken from him now. He pinches the bridge of his nose. ]
I'm going to see him.
no subject
-- But hearing that Belph might give up? That is terrifying, and Sanji feels grief swell up in his chest like an ocean current. The only reason it doesn't show up on his face is Hikage keeps talking]
-- One of those items you all mentioned before?
no subject
[ he'd been mulling it over in his head for a while, anyway. ]
I can tell him what I know. And...
[ and what? He doesn't actually know how this item works; he might get censored if he tries to talk, and he almost certainly has a limit on how much he can say. There's no way they'd just give the dead free rein to talk with someone. Hikage doesn't know how to face him after everything outside of sharing information. In his mind, it's the only thing of value he has to offer Belph that might help him through this. ]
... I could show him that I haven't given up yet, either. [ a beat. ] I'm partially to blame. I need to do something for him.
no subject
I know he'll be happy to see you at all.
[Getting information out there is important, yeah, except Sanji's a selfish bastard who just wants his friend to feel better above all else]
Just give him as many reasons to keep going.
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... Don't expect much. It's only me.
[ he doubts he'll have that much of an impact; he'd always relied on Belph more than the other way around. ]
no subject
[Muttered more to himself than to Hikage, Sanji feeling something akin to exasperation taking over. Belph isn't really the tsundere type so much as he's just quick to throw himself under the bus, underplaying his importance in other people's lives, but seeing similar patterns reflected in Hikage is... jeez.
Poor Steph. She went and fell in love with two dumbasses.]
Belph was so depressed after you died, I was tempted to move in just so I could make sure his ass was eating properly.
[Doxxing his sorta best friend?? Yeah. Yeah he's gonna. Sanji's trying to prove a point]
Not gonna lie -- I was panicking. S'not like I'm great at talking other people out of their feelings. [...] I'm not expecting you to work miracles, life doesn't work like that, but you know how hard he was working to find your killer? He misses you.
no subject
[ it's strange; both Belph and Steph have told him themselves that they care about him, and he believes them. How can he not, after everything they've been through together - after showing them both parts of him and still being accepted by them? Even so, hearing from a third party how his own disappearance could affect them so strongly moves him. Especially affecting Belph - Belph, who did his best to act like nothing ever bothered him. He blinks in surprise, then rubs his nose, a thinly-veiled method of hiding the faint flush on his cheeks.
It feels so warm. Maybe he really is alive again. ]
... That idiot. He's only honest when I'm not around. [ baka............ in any case, he shakes his head, eager to get away from this topic before Sanji catches him having emotions or something. ] What about Stephanie?
w6 monday!!
When he runs into Beau, he can open it up again. ]
Sanji. [ hey look, an upgrade from "hey you." ] ... How much of that did you remember?
[ he's curious. ]
no subject
He isn't doing anything in particular -- just sitting and thinking, because sometimes that's all there is to do in this bitch of a costco -- but his head still cants in Hikage's direction before he replies]
What, you mean my shitty death here?
no subject
Your role.
[ because Hikage had known exactly 0 about any roles here until those announcements, even if he'd surmised they'd existed. ]
no subject
[Folding his arms because frankly, talking about role shit is much easier than swallowing the failure of his death, ha ha]
Just couldn't say shit -- that was the number 1 rule of having a role. No matter how much you wanted to tell other people, you had to keep it to yourself unless you knew for certain someone else had a role.
[...]
So that's why my job was necessary. I had to gather all the bastards who had roles so we could coordinate.
no subject
Did you know about them? Beau and the other one.
[ who is wei wuxian ]
I want to know why they chose me.
no subject
[It's hilarious in retrospect. Sanji was going to find a killer that week no matter what, even if he didn't realize it.]
And honestly? They probably chose you because they wanted to target someone they thought wouldn't be as missed by the group, and like hell they were gonna chose the people they cared about.
[... It's very, very harsh assessment, but one Sanji gives neutrally. Because that's the criteria he used when plotting his own kills. He eliminated children out of morality, women because he's biased, and his friends because he's selfish. So he sure as hell ain't gonna sweet-talk the moral high ground here.]
Don't take my word for it. You're gonna have to ask them to know the reason.
no subject
Still. Now there's a part of him that wonders why it had to be him and not someone else weak and unfriendly. ]
... I guess a more complex reason was too much to hope for. [ frustrated sigh. ] What a pointless death.