[How strange it is, to be the one more used to doing things this way.
Not that it's easier for him, exactly. Even with Sanji's company on this side (and Tsurumaru's, and Shinobu's--many of the others, honestly), he'd suffered some deep emotional wounds before his death. Failing to take Sanji's killer down with him, even if he understands why he was stopped, is something that he isn't sure he can forgive--not himself, nor Dimitri.
But the fact remains that while the circumstances are different, it isn't the first time he's been on this side. There wasn't much he could do at the castle, but he hadn't tried very hard, because he'd had faith that Okita would succeed. This time, he only has Stephanie's reassurances--and he does, truly, want to trust her. But even after everything that's happened, he can't stand idly by. If there's something he can do on this side to ensure victory, then he'll do it.
Withdraw and regroup. That's all this is. If he doesn't let himself view it that way, he's basically throwing Okita's life away, and he refuses to do that.
The trial and his death, though... ah. Sanji wasn't able to see it, then.
Even before he starts to explain, Yasusada's body language radiates unhappiness. The look on his face isn't one he'd be wearing if things had gone totally according to plan, but--well. Sanji's here to have that conversation with him. That's probably explanation enough.]
Yu-kun had the ability to tie two people together. He must've used it right before he left a mark on me, to tie me to Lili-kun. [Who has told him about 50 times to just call her Lili but he keeps reverting back because it feels weird.] I didn't know about his ability, or I would've told him not to bother with it. But Dick-san came after me on Friday, [since he reacted so terribly in public to the announcement] so I showed him the wound Yu-kun left and told him I'd been in the cabin, and that I didn't know where it came from.
[Which was so blatantly flimsy and suspicious that he'd assumed, correctly, that Dick would know what he was trying to do. Unfortunately--] I only told him because I wanted everyone to focus on the other deaths, especially yours. [SORRY MINAKO AND ZENITSU.] But he must not have understood me, because they made a big scene about it immediately. If I'd known they were going to handle it like that, I wouldn't have mentioned it.
[He is Not Happy with Lili and Dick right now, if that wasn't obvious. But anyway--]
I don't think they found anything useful for Zenitsu-san and Minako-san's killers. I think they all just assumed I did everything. [Which was insulting? Yin Yu's body was right there? HE'D BEEN SO FUCKING OBVIOUS everyone in this camp sucks.] But for you... Akira-kun, Belph-san, and-- [HE doesn't actually have a clue who 45 is even though she constantly helps out in trials oops] --someone else found Nami-san at the isolation cabin by herself. She reacted badly to Magnus.
[So. That settled that, in Yasusada's mind. He doesn't bother explaining how he'd reacted; Sanji can probably take a guess.]
Taako told some big stupid lie about how it was self-defense, but I know Stephanie-kun didn't believe it. I think Belph-san knew it didn't add up either. [It wasn't impossible to them, he thinks, but after Yasusada's explanation came out, it definitely would seem implausible.] A few people came to visit me in the cabin, so I explained to them all the reasons it didn't make sense. I think at least Stephanie-kun and Chuuya-kun will look into it.
[There are... so many emotions he has to filter through while listening to Yasuada's recounting. His expression starts out neutral, attentive, nodding along to every word, but it quickly darkens into disbelief and fury the longer the tale continues. What an absolute shitshow.
-- And then, at last, Yams gets to Nami -- the little tiger who is currently with them, in fact, curled up a few feet away while she watches her father pace about.]
What.
[Turning on his heel, and he almost forgets who he's speaking to with the blood pounding in his ears. The chef's retreated, and it's only the pirate left in him, furious and vengeful as if the camp has wounded his pride]
Why the fuck would I go after Magnus if I didn't lock Nami up first? Do those shitheads think I'm that sloppy?
[Taako -- well, there's a special place in hell reserved for that fuck if he ever shows up in the graveyard, and knowing what will await him is precisely why Sanji puts him out of his mind. No, his attention is only on the incredible stupidity of the campers.]
-- And what, because it was hailed as self-defense, Magnus got off the hook and they killed you in his place?
[He doesn't say it -- bites back the snarl in his throat, but at least for this moment, Sanji hopes they all burn]
I told them--well, not all of them [for. probably obvious reasons now] that you wouldn't do that. In the cabin, later, Dick-san tried to say that maybe you had some kind of role you couldn't tell me about, and that you had to. But I told him that you would have told me not to go, if you knew you'd be going out that night too.
[He's--well. Obviously, he's upset with Magnus. But given time, given the chance to live... Yasusada probably would've grudgingly forgiven him. He can't fault people for choosing to kill, in a place like this. Despite everything, it isn't Magnus's fault that they all timed their choices poorly--Magnus couldn't have confessed even if he'd wanted to.
But he didn't get that chance. He barely got a single moment of doubt in his benefit. It's strange, because it's not so much himself he's angry for--it's all of the people like him, the people before him. Everyone who was condemned and judged because they'd dared to show emotion, or be less likable than others. He was always supposed to be clearly guilty, but that they didn't even consider he could've acted in self-defense, for instance... when he thinks about it, it reminds him of Rapunzel, how she got caught up in the storm of his emotions.
It's not about whether he does or doesn't want their support. It's about how objective they've all claimed to be, only to turn around and prove they're incapable of exactly that.
It's why his next words are spoken in a tone that's just--tired, mostly. Like he's speaking facts that are well-established.]
Even if I wasn't guilty, they would've chosen me over him anyway.
[Because Sanji is a passionate soul at his core -- he loves, he cares, he strives to offer kindness in his own way -- but he isn't a blind man, either. People are swayed by emotions and simply twist up the politics to match. If Yasusada had already been convicted at the start of the trial, then he was going to die. Finding another "villain" wouldn't have changed anyone's minds.
Even more so if it was Magnus, someone whom half of the camp viewed as a lovable grunt of a man.
Sanji understands the politics of it all very well, but that doesn't mean he has to be in a forgiving mood because of it. Eventually, his anger will cool into something sensible. For now? It burns hot and furious as it did when Zelos was killed for the same crime of being misunderstood]
I'll give Dick a pass because he saw a memory of me as an Editor, and that's all he had to go off of. [A pause... he glances at Yasusada before abruptly looking away, sighing]
But you ain't wrong. If I had to kill, I wouldn't have sent you out. Chancing my life means there would've been no reason to risk yours.
[A fact Yasusada knows better than anyone besides the rest of the castle residents. Gambling with his own life is par for the course, but the life of others? Absolutely not, unless there's literally no other choice. To do anything else would've been a disservice to Yasusada]
[He... yes. It hurts, a little, to think about--that after everything they saw and shared, Sanji still might've chosen, or been forced, to bloody his own hands. But it wasn't that part that made him so dismissive, so adamant that Taako was lying. It was everything else, and frankly, he'd been offended on Sanji's behalf.
His brow furrows for a minute, a look of deep thought crossing his face. Sanji asked about the execution too, and he'll get to that, but first--]
...Sanji-kun, would you-- [Hm. He stops, then starts again.] --At the castle, it was... difficult for people to talk about what Tora-kun and Ryuu-kun asked them to do, wasn't it? Some of them, I think they would've tried to tell us more, if they could. [...] Do you think that might be true here, too?
[Please pick up what he's putting down, Sanji, he doesn't know how to be more subtle than this.]
Those with roles probably can't speak of 'em, no. But I'm sure there'd be plenty of crass assholes who'd jump at the chance to say whatever they could, for the better of everyone.
[Staring Yasusada dead in the eye as he says this, before he glances off, and says no more]
So he hopes, anyway. He really, really hopes that they're on the same page, here--but he thinks they are. Why didn't you tell me? is on the tip of his tongue, but then--no. If he couldn't, then he couldn't.
Anyway, Sanji has his reasons. Yasusada will trust in him.]
I think so too. [He looks, for a moment, like he wants to ask more questions, but then he shakes his head. He doesn't want to risk anyone getting hurt; he'll visit one of the directors soon. He doubts they'll be able to tell him much, but it's worth a try.]
[IT'S FINE that was everyone else's reaction too. Tragically Yasusada does not know that Britt was a chortling lizard in the background of his death.]
I didn't mind. [He took her partner away from her.] I offered to let her do it quickly, but she wanted a fair fight. And she won.
[...Well, for the most part. He knows he could have pushed it, if he'd truly wanted to. He'd considered it, he truly had, because he'd do anything, anything for Okita--but.
For the one moment it mattered, he chose selfishness. Absently, he lifts a hand to rest on his sword--before he remembers it isn't there.
Right.]
...I want to send one of my cards to Chuuya-kun, though. He came to me after the trial, and said he'd protect me if I won.
[Which Yasusada hadn't expected in the slightest. He's a little sad that he hadn't seen their similarities sooner--they could have been good allies, he thinks.]
Edited (forgot part of my sentence) 2020-07-15 02:32 (UTC)
[There are so many reasons why Sanji's entire soul feels ready to leave this afterlife and careen straight into the fires of hell--
But then he's distracted. First by the fact that Flayn won, then by Yasusada's gesture, a hand searching for a sword that isn't there, and a second later by Chuuya of all people lending the other his aid.]
... Is your sword -- [A pause, then his head gently tilting] Is it back with the living, or ... are you with Souji?
[Everything else goes ignored, until he hears the answer]
[Despite himself, Yasusada smiles, just a little. Of course Sanji is the only person who'd ask that; the other swords probably would have, if they'd gotten the chance--or maybe not. They know there's only one reason he'd willingly be parted from it.
Carefully, he fishes out a photograph, handing it over to Sanji. The photo is of Okita, their Okita, sleeping peacefully at a classroom desk, head resting on a nice comfortable pillow with a blanket draped around his shoulders. Yasusada's sword has been slipped into his arms.]
Kage-kun was kind enough to grant my request. [Yasusada has no qualms asking for what he wants, when it comes to things like this. Admittedly, though, he'd been a little surprised that it had been granted.] I didn't get a chance to ask Veronica-san if I could see him, before... [Everything. She probably would've said no, but he still would've liked to try.]
[... And there Souji is. Sleeping soundly. A soft, quiet smile overtakes Sanji's expression as he stares down at the photograph]
So they really are here.
[It's not that he doubted that truth, but seeing the physical proof tugs at his chest -- a reminder of what is still at stake. There's a swallow, and then a very slow sigh as he offers the photograph back to Yasusada]
I'm glad they could give you that much, then. After all the shit you've been through...
[This, Sanji believes with his entire heart, it something Yasusada deserves to have]
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Not that it's easier for him, exactly. Even with Sanji's company on this side (and Tsurumaru's, and Shinobu's--many of the others, honestly), he'd suffered some deep emotional wounds before his death. Failing to take Sanji's killer down with him, even if he understands why he was stopped, is something that he isn't sure he can forgive--not himself, nor Dimitri.
But the fact remains that while the circumstances are different, it isn't the first time he's been on this side. There wasn't much he could do at the castle, but he hadn't tried very hard, because he'd had faith that Okita would succeed. This time, he only has Stephanie's reassurances--and he does, truly, want to trust her. But even after everything that's happened, he can't stand idly by. If there's something he can do on this side to ensure victory, then he'll do it.
Withdraw and regroup. That's all this is. If he doesn't let himself view it that way, he's basically throwing Okita's life away, and he refuses to do that.
The trial and his death, though... ah. Sanji wasn't able to see it, then.
Even before he starts to explain, Yasusada's body language radiates unhappiness. The look on his face isn't one he'd be wearing if things had gone totally according to plan, but--well. Sanji's here to have that conversation with him. That's probably explanation enough.]
Yu-kun had the ability to tie two people together. He must've used it right before he left a mark on me, to tie me to Lili-kun. [Who has told him about 50 times to just call her Lili but he keeps reverting back because it feels weird.] I didn't know about his ability, or I would've told him not to bother with it. But Dick-san came after me on Friday, [since he reacted so terribly in public to the announcement] so I showed him the wound Yu-kun left and told him I'd been in the cabin, and that I didn't know where it came from.
[Which was so blatantly flimsy and suspicious that he'd assumed, correctly, that Dick would know what he was trying to do. Unfortunately--] I only told him because I wanted everyone to focus on the other deaths, especially yours. [SORRY MINAKO AND ZENITSU.] But he must not have understood me, because they made a big scene about it immediately. If I'd known they were going to handle it like that, I wouldn't have mentioned it.
[He is Not Happy with Lili and Dick right now, if that wasn't obvious. But anyway--]
I don't think they found anything useful for Zenitsu-san and Minako-san's killers. I think they all just assumed I did everything. [Which was insulting? Yin Yu's body was right there? HE'D BEEN SO FUCKING OBVIOUS everyone in this camp sucks.] But for you... Akira-kun, Belph-san, and-- [HE doesn't actually have a clue who 45 is even though she constantly helps out in trials oops] --someone else found Nami-san at the isolation cabin by herself. She reacted badly to Magnus.
[So. That settled that, in Yasusada's mind. He doesn't bother explaining how he'd reacted; Sanji can probably take a guess.]
Taako told some big stupid lie about how it was self-defense, but I know Stephanie-kun didn't believe it. I think Belph-san knew it didn't add up either. [It wasn't impossible to them, he thinks, but after Yasusada's explanation came out, it definitely would seem implausible.] A few people came to visit me in the cabin, so I explained to them all the reasons it didn't make sense. I think at least Stephanie-kun and Chuuya-kun will look into it.
[So he hopes, anyway. All he can do now is hope.]
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-- And then, at last, Yams gets to Nami -- the little tiger who is currently with them, in fact, curled up a few feet away while she watches her father pace about.]
What.
[Turning on his heel, and he almost forgets who he's speaking to with the blood pounding in his ears. The chef's retreated, and it's only the pirate left in him, furious and vengeful as if the camp has wounded his pride]
Why the fuck would I go after Magnus if I didn't lock Nami up first? Do those shitheads think I'm that sloppy?
[Taako -- well, there's a special place in hell reserved for that fuck if he ever shows up in the graveyard, and knowing what will await him is precisely why Sanji puts him out of his mind. No, his attention is only on the incredible stupidity of the campers.]
-- And what, because it was hailed as self-defense, Magnus got off the hook and they killed you in his place?
[He doesn't say it -- bites back the snarl in his throat, but at least for this moment, Sanji hopes they all burn]
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[Be mad, Sanji! He's mad on your behalf!!!!]
I told them--well, not all of them [for. probably obvious reasons now] that you wouldn't do that. In the cabin, later, Dick-san tried to say that maybe you had some kind of role you couldn't tell me about, and that you had to. But I told him that you would have told me not to go, if you knew you'd be going out that night too.
[He's--well. Obviously, he's upset with Magnus. But given time, given the chance to live... Yasusada probably would've grudgingly forgiven him. He can't fault people for choosing to kill, in a place like this. Despite everything, it isn't Magnus's fault that they all timed their choices poorly--Magnus couldn't have confessed even if he'd wanted to.
But he didn't get that chance. He barely got a single moment of doubt in his benefit. It's strange, because it's not so much himself he's angry for--it's all of the people like him, the people before him. Everyone who was condemned and judged because they'd dared to show emotion, or be less likable than others. He was always supposed to be clearly guilty, but that they didn't even consider he could've acted in self-defense, for instance... when he thinks about it, it reminds him of Rapunzel, how she got caught up in the storm of his emotions.
It's not about whether he does or doesn't want their support. It's about how objective they've all claimed to be, only to turn around and prove they're incapable of exactly that.
It's why his next words are spoken in a tone that's just--tired, mostly. Like he's speaking facts that are well-established.]
Even if I wasn't guilty, they would've chosen me over him anyway.
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[Because Sanji is a passionate soul at his core -- he loves, he cares, he strives to offer kindness in his own way -- but he isn't a blind man, either. People are swayed by emotions and simply twist up the politics to match. If Yasusada had already been convicted at the start of the trial, then he was going to die. Finding another "villain" wouldn't have changed anyone's minds.
Even more so if it was Magnus, someone whom half of the camp viewed as a lovable grunt of a man.
Sanji understands the politics of it all very well, but that doesn't mean he has to be in a forgiving mood because of it. Eventually, his anger will cool into something sensible. For now? It burns hot and furious as it did when Zelos was killed for the same crime of being misunderstood]
I'll give Dick a pass because he saw a memory of me as an Editor, and that's all he had to go off of. [A pause... he glances at Yasusada before abruptly looking away, sighing]
But you ain't wrong. If I had to kill, I wouldn't have sent you out. Chancing my life means there would've been no reason to risk yours.
[A fact Yasusada knows better than anyone besides the rest of the castle residents. Gambling with his own life is par for the course, but the life of others? Absolutely not, unless there's literally no other choice. To do anything else would've been a disservice to Yasusada]
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[He... yes. It hurts, a little, to think about--that after everything they saw and shared, Sanji still might've chosen, or been forced, to bloody his own hands. But it wasn't that part that made him so dismissive, so adamant that Taako was lying. It was everything else, and frankly, he'd been offended on Sanji's behalf.
His brow furrows for a minute, a look of deep thought crossing his face. Sanji asked about the execution too, and he'll get to that, but first--]
...Sanji-kun, would you-- [Hm. He stops, then starts again.] --At the castle, it was... difficult for people to talk about what Tora-kun and Ryuu-kun asked them to do, wasn't it? Some of them, I think they would've tried to tell us more, if they could. [...] Do you think that might be true here, too?
[Please pick up what he's putting down, Sanji, he doesn't know how to be more subtle than this.]
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...
...]
Those with roles probably can't speak of 'em, no. But I'm sure there'd be plenty of crass assholes who'd jump at the chance to say whatever they could, for the better of everyone.
[Staring Yasusada dead in the eye as he says this, before he glances off, and says no more]
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So he hopes, anyway. He really, really hopes that they're on the same page, here--but he thinks they are. Why didn't you tell me? is on the tip of his tongue, but then--no. If he couldn't, then he couldn't.
Anyway, Sanji has his reasons. Yasusada will trust in him.]
I think so too. [He looks, for a moment, like he wants to ask more questions, but then he shakes his head. He doesn't want to risk anyone getting hurt; he'll visit one of the directors soon. He doubts they'll be able to tell him much, but it's worth a try.]
...Anyway, it was Flayn-kun. For the execution.
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[GOD.
Sanji is dead and his heart still can't take all of these surprises, so Yams is gonna have to forgive the nearly comedic screech of horror]
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I didn't mind. [He took her partner away from her.] I offered to let her do it quickly, but she wanted a fair fight. And she won.
[...Well, for the most part. He knows he could have pushed it, if he'd truly wanted to. He'd considered it, he truly had, because he'd do anything, anything for Okita--but.
For the one moment it mattered, he chose selfishness. Absently, he lifts a hand to rest on his sword--before he remembers it isn't there.
Right.]
...I want to send one of my cards to Chuuya-kun, though. He came to me after the trial, and said he'd protect me if I won.
[Which Yasusada hadn't expected in the slightest. He's a little sad that he hadn't seen their similarities sooner--they could have been good allies, he thinks.]
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But then he's distracted. First by the fact that Flayn won, then by Yasusada's gesture, a hand searching for a sword that isn't there, and a second later by Chuuya of all people lending the other his aid.]
... Is your sword -- [A pause, then his head gently tilting] Is it back with the living, or ... are you with Souji?
[Everything else goes ignored, until he hears the answer]
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Carefully, he fishes out a photograph, handing it over to Sanji. The photo is of Okita, their Okita, sleeping peacefully at a classroom desk, head resting on a nice comfortable pillow with a blanket draped around his shoulders. Yasusada's sword has been slipped into his arms.]
Kage-kun was kind enough to grant my request. [Yasusada has no qualms asking for what he wants, when it comes to things like this. Admittedly, though, he'd been a little surprised that it had been granted.] I didn't get a chance to ask Veronica-san if I could see him, before... [Everything. She probably would've said no, but he still would've liked to try.]
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So they really are here.
[It's not that he doubted that truth, but seeing the physical proof tugs at his chest -- a reminder of what is still at stake. There's a swallow, and then a very slow sigh as he offers the photograph back to Yasusada]
I'm glad they could give you that much, then. After all the shit you've been through...
[This, Sanji believes with his entire heart, it something Yasusada deserves to have]
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[And she wouldn't lie to him, not about that. If it had been bad news, she probably would have simply not mentioned anything at all.
He takes the photo back, carefully tucking it away.]
Mm. I'm grateful. I wasn't sure if they'd be able to, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask.
[He gets a lot of stuff just by asking for it, honestly? This is what happens when you're a straightforward person.
But, more seriously--he really is glad. And if things go south for them... at least he'll be where he belongs.]