[It's a fair mood. Yasusada's not too different--even if they weren't close, it's a very different experience to be the one choosing incorrectly. Unlike last week, there wasn't even any truly incriminating evidence.
At the admission, though--his eyes widen a little, before his expression shifts, serious and focused.]
Heh. So far waiting isn't helping. And we're doing such a shit job of catching the murderers.
[Still not eating the apple, now tossing it between his palms. It's soothing in its own way, helps keep him focused -- the mark of a chef whose happier when his hands are busy.]
-- But kinda like how things were back in the castle, I think catching our killers comes secondary to the bigger goal. A number of us are hoping if we keep shit balanced, or just make sure no one team wins yet, we'll wiggle our way into a better solution.
[...]
If the purple team starts dipping too low, then I'm move to even the stakes a bit. And buy us more time.
[That logic makes sense. Plus, they all saw the board--if no one dies (as unlikely as that's beginning to seem), it'll be worse for them in the long run.
If Yasusada knows anything, it's that sometimes blood needs to be shed for the good of everyone.]
Have you chosen someone? You can choose me, if you need to. [Which probably isn't a surprising offer. No matter what Sanji needs from him, he's ready.]
But he doesn't turn away the offer like might have been expected]
I'll let you know by Monday.
[...]
I'd rather take myself out, but that's... counter intuitive at the moment. [Grimacing slightly, then sighing.]
Tomorrow I'm gonna scout around, see if I can find a descent candidate... and besides, I gotta ask the counselors a few questions.
[...]
I haven't been in contact with the dead or anything, but there's a chance that maybe they're doing shit on their side that'll be helpful to us. If that's the case, whoever dies needs to be motivated to do work over there.
[He's fine with that. He told Sanji in the jail, didn't he? Being left behind by everyone... it's not a feeling I ever wanted him to know. Given the choice, Yasusada will always choose sacrifice, over being the one to stand alone, at the end. If Sanji needs him to die for him, or kill for him, whatever--he's here for it.
For full transparency, though, he has to admit--]
I don't know anyone else's teams. I can ask, but there's only a few people I'd trust to tell the truth, really.
[He's honestly thinking of like. Two people at most.]
That's fine. Ask if you think they'll tell, and get back to me. But--
[Don't push yourself, is what Sanji wants to say, except the words burn to ash in his own mouth. That's bullshit, first off, and just a balm for his own guilt. The entire point is that they do whatever needs to be done for the sake of the group.
He stares at the fruit and swallows back his stupidity, shaking his head. Nevermind it.]
... Given how badly the trials are going, whether it's you or me who does the deed, I'll be surprised if either of us gets caught. And then of course there's... execution.
[The stakes are so much different than in Grimm, in terms of who dies and who lives. Murderers can and will walk free here, even if they're caught. So Sanji glances up, regarding Yams]
... Oi. If you were to get caught, would you let yourself be executed, or would you fight back?
[There's the sticking point. Yasusada drops his gaze to the ground, thinking hard about his answer.]
...Sometimes, we--that is, the Shinsengumi... sometimes, we did have to kill secretly. But not very often. [Assassinations weren't usually what Yasusada was used for, but it's not like they didn't happen. He understands the need for them, even if he dislikes them. But--] I'd rather kill someone and let them catch me, if they can, or let you use your ability on me.
[He's on Black Shadows's team, like he said. Even if Sanji chooses someone else to kill, Yasusada's death would still help protect Purple Heart's numbers. And if someone else takes the fall for both of them... well, chances are they'll be prevented from fessing up anyway, so there's not much to be done about that. But--] If the others choose wrongly, there's a chance they could vote someone from Heart-kun's team as guilty. That would defeat the purpose.
[First and foremost, Yasusada is a weapon. To him, this makes the most sense--he was made to be used, and they've left so much to chance already.
But that said, he presses his lips together, thinking about it further.]
...I think Okita-kun would be upset with me, if I didn't fight back at all. But fighting to win... that might depend on who's chosen.
[The point, as Sanji has presented it, is to even the playing field. If someone from Heart's team is chosen, and Yasusada fought to kill and won, then that's defeating the purpose too.]
[if nothing else, speaking in hypotheticals gets easier on Sanji's end, even if the topic cuts at him like a jagged blade. He listens, considers the sword's position, and eventually comes out the other side with a nod of understanding]
No, you're right.
[A honest admission]
The goal is to keep Heart's team from going under. We can't control the execution ring outside of betting on who gets stuck there. If I used my shitty ability to try and incriminate one of us, that'll improve our chances... but we can't decide who would meet us.
[And there are other complications, though Sanji keeps them to himself for now. Most of the people in the camp are men, but should Sanji get stuck fighting a woman...
Ha. The last principle he never had to challenge in Grimm. And he doesn't know if he can bring himself to throw it away here.]
Like I said, I'm gonna search around tomorrow, see how many more people I can convince to tell me their teams. The more I know, the more I can hedge our bets in a way that won't completely screw us over.
[...]
Hey, I'm-- [Looking quietly at the ground, past the apple still in his hand]
Thanks. For hearing me out. [Sanji would not have blamed Yams for killing him on the spot]
...At the castle, I asked if Okita-kun could execute me. [Partially because Okita needed it for his objective, but mostly because it was Yasusada's last, selfish desire.] Tora-kun and Ryuu-kun allowed it, so maybe we can ask if something like that can happen here.
[It would be easier and harder all at once, if they could pull the strings and face each other--but that would be a guaranteed outcome. Otherwise, Yasusada can think of a few people he'd prefer to face, but he doesn't know any of their teams. He has work cut out for himself, too.
He--looks surprised, then, before it softens--it's a little too tired to be a smile, after everything that happened today, but the feeling is there all the same.]
Of course. I trust you. [Sanji cemented his position in Yasusada's regard the moment he did exactly what Yasusada thought he would, just like Okita. Things would likely be a little more complicated, if any of the swords (or humans) from the Shinsengumi were around, but they aren't. It's fortunate, for everyone involved.]
...Sanji-kun? Who... [He hesitates, but only for a moment. He's not one to hold back his words.] Who would you choose to save, if your team wins?
[... It's true. Facing each other would be... ideal, for both of them. It's why the man nods in quiet agreement, no matter how his jaw tightens before he squashes down that reaction. He's asked Yasusada to trust him in this; the least he can do is see through his own hypothetical suggestion to the bitter end.
God, that question though. His breath freezes in his chest before he huffs out a hollow laugh, glancing to the side.]
Hikage was apart of Heart's team. So he'd come back and save Belph and Steph-chan, guaranteed. [A small mercy. Sanji is spared from having to consider those two in his line-up]
Jae-Ha and Ion... [He shakes his head.] That asshole would never forgive me, and Ion would just be disappointed.
[So they're out, out of respect for the choices they'd demand he make on their behalf]
I don't want to see Eichi gone, so I'd at least take him with me. [Eichi... but not Akechi. A move that would earn the boy's hatred, Sanji thinks, but he's young and has a future ahead of him. He'll find love again.]
... Zelos, I-- [he stops, and then gives a shrug, deciding to quickly move on] Yeah, guess I'd pick him, too.
[...]
That leaves you and Souji. [He'll meet Yasusada's eyes for this. The other asked for the truth, so Sanji will... give it to him.]
I think he'd be pissed at me, if I picked him. [...] Don't know if that's sway me, though.
[...]
You know him better than I do, Yasusada. Do you think I should? Or should I pick you?
[Eichi... Yasusada can't stop himself from making a little face, at the sound of that name. But it's Sanji's choice--he's the one who asked.
When it comes down to him and Souji, though... well, first of all, there's a question in there with an easy answer, and Yasusada shakes his head. Of course. But for once, it's not just his devotion and his fear that's guiding this. There's logic here that he's been clinging to since Wei Wuxian told him Kane-san was on the island.]
We die, if our blades break. That's how it's always been, back home. [A little sword lore, if Sanji didn't know already.] Master--that is, the saniwa--has found the spirits of broken swords before. That's how they brought Kiyomitsu back, even though he died at Ikedaya.
[Okita, and Kashuu--Yasusada lost them both, in such a short span of time. Is it any wonder that he's so desperate to choose his own path, this time?]
I think... I have to hope that they can do that for us, too. So we'll be okay. [Yasusada would feel a lot worse about not fretting over the other swords, if he wasn't so determined to have faith in the saniwa.
Even if they can't, though... no, best not to think about that. Kashuu waited for him for so long, and now he's waiting again, even if he doesn't know it. Yasusada knows how it feels, to wait for someone who'll never come home, and he can't bear to think about making his partner experience that.
So instead, he smiles, just a little.]
Okita-kun would always suggest someone else, instead of him. He'd tell you to save Fukuchou. [Predictably.] If not Fukuchou, then Evan-kun. If not Evan-kun, then Cardia-kun... [He waves his hand. And so on, and so forth.] But--Okita-kun is so important. The world needs him so much. And he... his death, back home, it wasn't what he wanted at all. I can't save him like that, in my world, because it would change history, and it could destroy everything. But... I can't accept the thought of him being lost like this, either.
[Yasusada would say to save him, no matter what. He's doing his best to be logical about it, but when it comes down to it--his greatest strength is his passion, and his love. So he trails off, looking up at Sanji through his bangs. His eyes are sad, but imploring; he wants to be sure he's being understood.]
Even if it's wrong, he deserves the chance to live how he wants.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
At the admission, though--his eyes widen a little, before his expression shifts, serious and focused.]
...you think it's time to start acting?
no subject
[Still not eating the apple, now tossing it between his palms. It's soothing in its own way, helps keep him focused -- the mark of a chef whose happier when his hands are busy.]
-- But kinda like how things were back in the castle, I think catching our killers comes secondary to the bigger goal. A number of us are hoping if we keep shit balanced, or just make sure no one team wins yet, we'll wiggle our way into a better solution.
[...]
If the purple team starts dipping too low, then I'm move to even the stakes a bit. And buy us more time.
no subject
If Yasusada knows anything, it's that sometimes blood needs to be shed for the good of everyone.]
Have you chosen someone? You can choose me, if you need to. [Which probably isn't a surprising offer. No matter what Sanji needs from him, he's ready.]
no subject
But he doesn't turn away the offer like might have been expected]
I'll let you know by Monday.
[...]
I'd rather take myself out, but that's... counter intuitive at the moment. [Grimacing slightly, then sighing.]
Tomorrow I'm gonna scout around, see if I can find a descent candidate... and besides, I gotta ask the counselors a few questions.
[...]
I haven't been in contact with the dead or anything, but there's a chance that maybe they're doing shit on their side that'll be helpful to us. If that's the case, whoever dies needs to be motivated to do work over there.
no subject
[He's fine with that. He told Sanji in the jail, didn't he? Being left behind by everyone... it's not a feeling I ever wanted him to know. Given the choice, Yasusada will always choose sacrifice, over being the one to stand alone, at the end. If Sanji needs him to die for him, or kill for him, whatever--he's here for it.
For full transparency, though, he has to admit--]
I don't know anyone else's teams. I can ask, but there's only a few people I'd trust to tell the truth, really.
[He's honestly thinking of like. Two people at most.]
no subject
[Don't push yourself, is what Sanji wants to say, except the words burn to ash in his own mouth. That's bullshit, first off, and just a balm for his own guilt. The entire point is that they do whatever needs to be done for the sake of the group.
He stares at the fruit and swallows back his stupidity, shaking his head. Nevermind it.]
... Given how badly the trials are going, whether it's you or me who does the deed, I'll be surprised if either of us gets caught. And then of course there's... execution.
[The stakes are so much different than in Grimm, in terms of who dies and who lives. Murderers can and will walk free here, even if they're caught. So Sanji glances up, regarding Yams]
... Oi. If you were to get caught, would you let yourself be executed, or would you fight back?
[He needs -- no. He just wants to know]
no subject
...Sometimes, we--that is, the Shinsengumi... sometimes, we did have to kill secretly. But not very often. [Assassinations weren't usually what Yasusada was used for, but it's not like they didn't happen. He understands the need for them, even if he dislikes them. But--] I'd rather kill someone and let them catch me, if they can, or let you use your ability on me.
[He's on Black Shadows's team, like he said. Even if Sanji chooses someone else to kill, Yasusada's death would still help protect Purple Heart's numbers. And if someone else takes the fall for both of them... well, chances are they'll be prevented from fessing up anyway, so there's not much to be done about that. But--] If the others choose wrongly, there's a chance they could vote someone from Heart-kun's team as guilty. That would defeat the purpose.
[First and foremost, Yasusada is a weapon. To him, this makes the most sense--he was made to be used, and they've left so much to chance already.
But that said, he presses his lips together, thinking about it further.]
...I think Okita-kun would be upset with me, if I didn't fight back at all. But fighting to win... that might depend on who's chosen.
[The point, as Sanji has presented it, is to even the playing field. If someone from Heart's team is chosen, and Yasusada fought to kill and won, then that's defeating the purpose too.]
no subject
No, you're right.
[A honest admission]
The goal is to keep Heart's team from going under. We can't control the execution ring outside of betting on who gets stuck there. If I used my shitty ability to try and incriminate one of us, that'll improve our chances... but we can't decide who would meet us.
[And there are other complications, though Sanji keeps them to himself for now. Most of the people in the camp are men, but should Sanji get stuck fighting a woman...
Ha. The last principle he never had to challenge in Grimm. And he doesn't know if he can bring himself to throw it away here.]
Like I said, I'm gonna search around tomorrow, see how many more people I can convince to tell me their teams. The more I know, the more I can hedge our bets in a way that won't completely screw us over.
[...]
Hey, I'm-- [Looking quietly at the ground, past the apple still in his hand]
Thanks. For hearing me out. [Sanji would not have blamed Yams for killing him on the spot]
no subject
[It would be easier and harder all at once, if they could pull the strings and face each other--but that would be a guaranteed outcome. Otherwise, Yasusada can think of a few people he'd prefer to face, but he doesn't know any of their teams. He has work cut out for himself, too.
He--looks surprised, then, before it softens--it's a little too tired to be a smile, after everything that happened today, but the feeling is there all the same.]
Of course. I trust you. [Sanji cemented his position in Yasusada's regard the moment he did exactly what Yasusada thought he would, just like Okita. Things would likely be a little more complicated, if any of the swords (or humans) from the Shinsengumi were around, but they aren't. It's fortunate, for everyone involved.]
...Sanji-kun? Who... [He hesitates, but only for a moment. He's not one to hold back his words.] Who would you choose to save, if your team wins?
no subject
God, that question though. His breath freezes in his chest before he huffs out a hollow laugh, glancing to the side.]
Hikage was apart of Heart's team. So he'd come back and save Belph and Steph-chan, guaranteed. [A small mercy. Sanji is spared from having to consider those two in his line-up]
Jae-Ha and Ion... [He shakes his head.] That asshole would never forgive me, and Ion would just be disappointed.
[So they're out, out of respect for the choices they'd demand he make on their behalf]
I don't want to see Eichi gone, so I'd at least take him with me. [Eichi... but not Akechi. A move that would earn the boy's hatred, Sanji thinks, but he's young and has a future ahead of him. He'll find love again.]
... Zelos, I-- [he stops, and then gives a shrug, deciding to quickly move on] Yeah, guess I'd pick him, too.
[...]
That leaves you and Souji. [He'll meet Yasusada's eyes for this. The other asked for the truth, so Sanji will... give it to him.]
I think he'd be pissed at me, if I picked him. [...] Don't know if that's sway me, though.
[...]
You know him better than I do, Yasusada. Do you think I should? Or should I pick you?
no subject
When it comes down to him and Souji, though... well, first of all, there's a question in there with an easy answer, and Yasusada shakes his head. Of course. But for once, it's not just his devotion and his fear that's guiding this. There's logic here that he's been clinging to since Wei Wuxian told him Kane-san was on the island.]
We die, if our blades break. That's how it's always been, back home. [A little sword lore, if Sanji didn't know already.] Master--that is, the saniwa--has found the spirits of broken swords before. That's how they brought Kiyomitsu back, even though he died at Ikedaya.
[Okita, and Kashuu--Yasusada lost them both, in such a short span of time. Is it any wonder that he's so desperate to choose his own path, this time?]
I think... I have to hope that they can do that for us, too. So we'll be okay. [Yasusada would feel a lot worse about not fretting over the other swords, if he wasn't so determined to have faith in the saniwa.
Even if they can't, though... no, best not to think about that. Kashuu waited for him for so long, and now he's waiting again, even if he doesn't know it. Yasusada knows how it feels, to wait for someone who'll never come home, and he can't bear to think about making his partner experience that.
So instead, he smiles, just a little.]
Okita-kun would always suggest someone else, instead of him. He'd tell you to save Fukuchou. [Predictably.] If not Fukuchou, then Evan-kun. If not Evan-kun, then Cardia-kun... [He waves his hand. And so on, and so forth.] But--Okita-kun is so important. The world needs him so much. And he... his death, back home, it wasn't what he wanted at all. I can't save him like that, in my world, because it would change history, and it could destroy everything. But... I can't accept the thought of him being lost like this, either.
[Yasusada would say to save him, no matter what. He's doing his best to be logical about it, but when it comes down to it--his greatest strength is his passion, and his love. So he trails off, looking up at Sanji through his bangs. His eyes are sad, but imploring; he wants to be sure he's being understood.]
Even if it's wrong, he deserves the chance to live how he wants.