It's not about what I want, chef! Haha, there's things that one wants, and there's things which other people want. I think I'm the latter. Like a little bird in another's cage, I can only sing so much.
[He hums. How can he be so light when talking about the fact that he's somehow unable to make choices for himself.]
I'm a brilliant detective who figures out the mystery of Kaeru-kun's death. And I will use my skills to help you all solve the murders of others. My mystery is not a mystery I should solve. It's not part of my job. So that's that.
I know. You don't think I'm irritated by that? Everyone loves to read about the adventures of brilliant detectives. But in reality, the existence of a brilliant detective is horribly cursed.
[There's one thing to acknowledge that you're trapped. It's quite another to be fine with it.]
Let me ask you something, Sanji. [He leans on the counter, resting his chin in his hand.] If you woke up the next day in a body that didn't belong to you, what would you do?
Well, of course, that's the first reaction. I'd probably freak out, too. But I guess I mean...what do you do afterwards, especially if there's no obvious way of getting your body back? Would you be happy with it eventually? Get used to it?
[IGNORING THAT FIRST PART, we don't talk about Sanji's canon.]
... I mean, I'd have to get used to it to a point, wouldn't I? Even if I searched for a way to find my old one, the experience of living in the new would have an effect I couldn't just... ignore.
[Folding his arms, and doing his best to take this question seriously]
For me, I wouldn't stop looking -- not unless I knew for certain I couldn't get the old body back, or I found out getting that old one back would cost more than I was willing to spend, y'know?
Yeah, that's exactly it. [He lets his hand drift over his face, over the right side of his forehead, staying there briefly, before he brushes through his own hair.] In a way, you'd get used to it, in your own way, but you'd miss what you lost. Like a longing. You're in something else, and you want to get back to where you need to be, and...well, that's its own unique form of misery, I suppose.
Ah. I think my theories are just theories. But dying so many times in one's memories makes you wonder, you know? I'm glad you don't have to deal with that, chef.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Shit.]
Gotcha.
[...]
I mean, if you want me to concuss you for a day, I can just kick you in the head.
[What a morbid way of showing support]
no subject
Oh, Minako did that to me once back on the island and I didn't like it. I really appreciate the offer, though!
no subject
Damn, did she?
I mean, I hope she was trying to help.
no subject
[poor minako, knocking out a grown man]
But I did get a couple of memories back from it, at least! I didn't even know my own name before that.
no subject
Oh, speaking of that... you doing better on the memory front?
no subject
Well, there was a few I saw last week! But they don't make any sense. So I'm still kind of in the same boat as before.
no subject
If they're coming back at all, it means you can keep expecting more to follow.
no subject
[anaido?]
I think they're locked away for a reason.
no subject
I mean, obviously I can't know one way or another, but...
[Hm]
Do you wanna unlock 'em?
no subject
[He just stares levelly at Sanji, smile on his lips, but his gaze is...a little distant, like its at the end of a deep well.]
So I don't know.
no subject
Ah...
[...]
If I were you, that'd make me wanna know more.
[But that's not his call to make in the end.]
no subject
[And a light laugh.]
Maybe I'm just a cool immortal detective who solves crimes until the end of time! Better knowing that, then revealing I'm something else, hm?
no subject
[Firm on that]
If that's the role you wanna play, whose gonna tell you to suck it up and do it different?
... But if you are a detective, if you're really the type to keep plowing forward, looking for the truth...
[Eventually he's gonna plow straight into something he might not get to take back. And maybe that's the true, ugly truth of it all.]
no subject
[He hums. How can he be so light when talking about the fact that he's somehow unable to make choices for himself.]
I'm a brilliant detective who figures out the mystery of Kaeru-kun's death. And I will use my skills to help you all solve the murders of others. My mystery is not a mystery I should solve. It's not part of my job. So that's that.
no subject
[His eye narrows slightly. In irritation? In deep thought? It's hard to tell when one side of his face is constantly shadowed by his hair]
You act like the story's written for you, so there's no point in fighting back.
no subject
[There's one thing to acknowledge that you're trapped. It's quite another to be fine with it.]
Let me ask you something, Sanji. [He leans on the counter, resting his chin in his hand.] If you woke up the next day in a body that didn't belong to you, what would you do?
no subject
[I'm so sorry about One Piece]
Freak out, and then check the body. Figure out if I recognize it. Freak out some more.
[A shrug]
But I know that's not what you mean. Especially since I got my own body back in the end.
no subject
[JUST STARING AT SANJI. YOU OKAY, MAN.]
Well, of course, that's the first reaction. I'd probably freak out, too. But I guess I mean...what do you do afterwards, especially if there's no obvious way of getting your body back? Would you be happy with it eventually? Get used to it?
no subject
... I mean, I'd have to get used to it to a point, wouldn't I? Even if I searched for a way to find my old one, the experience of living in the new would have an effect I couldn't just... ignore.
[Folding his arms, and doing his best to take this question seriously]
For me, I wouldn't stop looking -- not unless I knew for certain I couldn't get the old body back, or I found out getting that old one back would cost more than I was willing to spend, y'know?
no subject
Yeah, that's exactly it. [He lets his hand drift over his face, over the right side of his forehead, staying there briefly, before he brushes through his own hair.] In a way, you'd get used to it, in your own way, but you'd miss what you lost. Like a longing. You're in something else, and you want to get back to where you need to be, and...well, that's its own unique form of misery, I suppose.
no subject
[...]
You're in someone else's body...?
no subject
[Hm. Hm. Hmmmm.]
Ah. I think my theories are just theories. But dying so many times in one's memories makes you wonder, you know? I'm glad you don't have to deal with that, chef.