ANAIDO

[concasse]

will shitpost here later

Comments

[wowcool]

[What henious things shall Sanji see? The fridge in shambles? The oven on fire? Anaido, standing over a body with a bloody knife?]

[No, he's just...holding one of those microwave ramen bowls? And it looks like he's just. About to eat it. It doesn't seem hot, there's no steam coming from it - hey, are those noodles hard? Did he even cook it at all? Why is he eating it like that??]

Ah, hello! [He beams.] How are you?

[concasse]

-- The hell are you even doing?

[Why do people here either know how to cook or are complete disasters who clearly can't take care of themselves? Sanji stomps right inside the cramped space looking horrified]

That shit's not cooked yet!

[wowcool]

...Ah.

[He actually looks a bit ashamed, turning his gaze away.]

I know, I just... [He gestures at the microwave.] Got distracted. And I was hungry, so...

[Distracted??? Anaido EXPLAIN YOURSELF]

[concasse]

[... Sorry but Sanji is going to snatch that bowl away from him if he's allowed, and then look at the instructions. Frankly, he is not a lover of the microwave, having seen how it dilutes the taste and texture of anything you put in it, but...]

Just nuke it for two minutes. You can wait that long, can't you?

[pointing at him in vague dismay] We're not in a position we're were gonna starve, so at least treat yourself to a hot meal, idiot.

[wowcool]

[He just allows him to take the bowl, but he seems a bit withdrawn, just glancing away from Sanji with that same sheepish look on his face.]

Ah, it isn't the wait, but... [A pause, like he's rethinking something, and he shakes his head.] Sorry, sorry, so sorry it's just...I haven't been like this in a while. At least, I don't think so. You don't need to do this for me.

[???]

[concasse]

-- Are you alright?

[The words sneak out of him before he can consider if he should be offering a complete stranger his time and efforts, but deep down the chef already knows it's a lost cause. This guy seems... off? In a way that requires a second stare and then an even longer pause while he goes to put the bowl in the microwave]

Well, anyway -- you can keep the apologies. Just thought you might appreciate the food if it were hotter.

[wowcool]

...

[He finally turns towards Sanji, giving him an attempt at a reassuring smile.]

I'm fine. It's all just a bit of a shock, so. Waking up here. Having amnesia. It's like a bad day on top of a whole lot of bad days. I think my brain is still a bit addled. [He lets out a light chuckle.] I really appreciate it, though. Thank you.

[concasse]

-- Amnesia?

[Excuse you, you can't just drop a bomb like that and expect Sanji to sit still. There's suddenly an excess of movement coming from him - shoulders bunched, his head snapping back, eyes wide in dismay. The look of a man whose been given a problem he probably can't solve.]

Back it up, asshole, what do you mean amnesia? What do you remember so far?

[wowcool]

[That's a bit of a surprising reaction - Anaido tilts his head, furrowing his eyebrows.]

Well, I remember part of my name. My profession. What I did directly before I was on that island...and then everything that happened on the island before I woke up here. Not much else, I'm afraid. I know some stuff, but as far as my past...

[He shrugs, lightly, like somehow, it's not the biggest deal to him right now.]

[concasse]

[... What a goddamn mess. A few seconds tick by as Sanji calms down again, expression forced into a mask of neutrality, even if some of that energy means he wishes he could pace back and forth]

Alright, what was your profession? And -- shit, is there anyone you remember? Someone who can help you out once you get back home?

[-- Because they will be going back home. Naturally]

[wowcool]

I'm a brilliant detective.

[A "brilliant" detective with amnesia. Sure sounds brilliant.]

There was another brilliant detective I was working with but...hm. Haven't seen him at all. [A pause - he taps at his chin.] Besides, I don't even know where home is. I was actually planning to go with a man I met on the island to his home...I have the feeling there's not much waiting for me where I'm from, for some reason.

[concasse]

... I see amnesia din't rob you of your confidence.

[FAINTLY AMUSED. Pay no attention to his pokerface]

Alright, "brilliant detective", first things first. On that island of yours, did you have to run trials to catch a murderer?

[wowcool]

Haha. That's what I am, though!

[Is that a little glimmer of amusement in his eyes at that remark? Absolutely.]

Well, this is a bit of an awkward question, since I died early before those happened, but...yes, as far as I saw, we had those.

[concasse]

Damn, you got taken out before you could pull your weight?

[Unacceptable. The chef huffs]

Well, try to stick around a little longer this time. I got no shitty idea how anything's gonna go, but in case we're stuck playing someone else's game, we'll need a detective to help pull us through it.

[wowcool]

It seems so.

[He nods at that - yes, people do need a detective, don't they? But do they need a brilliant detective...? Hm.]

I will help wherever people need me to help. Even with these lack of memories...I'll do my best.

[concasse]

Glad to hear it.

[smilingly brightly as the microwave dings, and Sanji pulls out his food]

Now eat all of this or I'll kick your ass. I hate bastards who waste food.

[It's fine, Sanji's a sane individual who doesn't mean that. maybe.]

[wowcool]

Willlll do!

[He'll finger-gun at him with a wink for that before taking the ramen from him, and nodding to him in thanks.]

By the by, I'm guessing you never found your Nami-chan.

[concasse]

[What a loser.

Sanji kinda likes him.]

No, but y'know... it's probably better this way. If she's not here, it means she's back at the castle with people who'll look after her.

[wowcool]

[He's blowing on the spoonful of ramen to cool it before swallowing it down - and seems like he's mentioning something familiar, again.]

The castle...you said that before. You were in a castle before all of this?

[concasse]

Yeah. Like your desert island. Got whisked away to some castle where we were supposed to balance out three factions.

[And by balance he means "murder"]

[wowcool]

Three factions? We didn't have anything like that...

What kind of factions?

[concasse]

Civilians, Heroes, and Villains.

[Ticking off every faction name with his fingers]

You know anything about fairy tales? We were given gifts and a corresponding name depending on our faction. So like... we had Wicked Witch, Little Red Riding Hood, shit like that...

[Sighing some as he begins searching through the kitchen for some bowls and a pan. Might as well make himself breakfast if he's gonna explain this nonsense]

Anyway, we had two ... jailors, you could say: Tiger-sama and Dragon-sama. Dragon-sama wanted balance, Tiger wanted only one faction to win. Depending on what happened, they'd enact their own happy ending that affected everyone.

[wowcool]

Fairytales...what an interesting theme.

[And a tiger and a dragon, too. It's a very interesting fantastical premise - one that would be good enough for a book, if it didn't involve actual people. Anaido sips on his noodles.]

And what happened? Who won?

[concasse]

Dragon-sama.

[...]

She managed to convince enough of us that the deaths would be worth it in the end. She'd used her, uh, powers to bring everyone back and end the grudge that had trapped her and Tiger-sama for so long.

[wowcool]

That's surprisingly nice of her.

[Huh.]

So altogether a good ending to your fairytale story.