concasse | week 7 | friday, post investigation

... No, it wasn't my choice.

[That much is true, though if Eichi choses to believe it or not... well, he would not blame the other boy for denouncing him on the spot, ending their friendship.

Sanji didn't come here seeking forgiveness as if he deserves it. He stays away from the bed, watching the other quietly]

He asked me not to tell you, so I respected his last wishes. But he's gone for now, until we bring them back, so I'm giving you the truth before shit hits the fan tomorrow.

[...]

We dueled at the jousting grounds. His request. He didn't die laying down, Eichi. He fought me as best he could -- almost won, too.

[It's not fair. It's not fair, to give him these feelings. To make him think why couldn't you have died instead before that makes him just as sick. It's not fair that Akechi is always hiding things from him like this, like he needs to be protected. It's not fair that with reactions like these, maybe he does.

He hunches over on the side of the bed, laughing again in a broken way and holding his own head too tight, shaking.]

I've never been this angry before, you know? It's amazing... my whole body is shaking. I really can only see red... I thought that was something only for story books, but it's difficult to see past that color at all. Aha... always, no matter what, it's always that I'm too weak to handle something, isn't it?

And at the same time, I'm dressed pretty and given a pat on the back and told to lift my chin and look presentable. For the Tenshouin name, for the sake of everyone— I had to chase something that was that way just for me, and then I was knocked down and thoroughly crushed. I couldn't be the hero. I was the villain, dethroned by a girl who knew much better than I ever did.

And here? Shall I sit and smile and act as if everything is fine, because you'll all "come back?" I'm so... I'm so angry, I think I'm going to be sick.

[Another beat of silence. Sanji doesn't think there are words he could offer that would comfort his friend. Or maybe he's too tired to try when it really counts.

He can't tell suddenly.]

What you do with this info is up to you. I'm not gonna tell you not to be pissed off here.

[Closing his eyes, taking a deep breath]

I'm just making my requests -- that you let me die tomorrow, by Souji's hand, as penance for all the people I killed. And to get them all back. He's prepared for death, same as me.

[He stands up, still shaking, hands balled into fists, and steps closer.]

I can't interfere, can I? Now that Goro is there... he's waiting for me to bring him back. [He is... definitely going to try to deck Sanji right here and now, though, swinging a fist. Just one hit, he just needs to take one hit out on him, or try, or feel something—]

But you're so...! You're all terrible! At the very least, promise me that he can come back! Promise me that you'll come back!

[He wheezes a little.] Death was... never anything to me... but to lose my precious friends... the ones I love and who care for me in return... why? You were all supposed to outlive me. You're all...

[He's crying now, it's a rollercoaster of emotions!]

[Sanji doesn't dodge the hit. And it's gonna come up blood, likely, given Eichi's super strength adding fuel to the fire. An angry gash bleeds from his temple, dripping red down his cheek.

He doesn't move. His expression doesn't flinch, either. Whatever anger Eichi is directing at him, it's... fine.

It's fine.

This is what Sanji deserves. He'll make no excuses for himself.]

We'll bring him back... and I'll come back, too.

[...]

I'm sorry. Life's a bitch, ain't it? [a quiet huff] But you have to survive now.

That's the burden we gave you.

[Him and Akechi both. Isn't love cruel.]

[He's making himself sick, he's making Sanji bleed, and he hates all of it. He clings to him now, in a desperate hug, wanting the anger gone, the comfort back. Wanting Goro back. Wanting Sanji to stay.

Zelos told him to take care of him, and he can't do that. He couldn't take care of Akechi... he couldn't do anything for anyone but cause trouble. All he has to do is survive? He's been doing that his whole life.

So why is it so hard only now?]

I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Sanji.

[For everything. It's not enough, and he doesn't know how to stop crying right now.]

Don't forget that we've agreed to introduce each other to our friends, you know? Please... don't leave me alone. Don't let yourself or Goro slip away. I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I can't help at all.

[A punch and then a hug, eh? Sanji is... perhaps more startled than he should be, but the response is still immediate -- embracing the other teen with both of his arms, a smile finally breaking free.]

Didn't I tell you to stop putting yourself down so much?

You're here, aren't ya? And I'm happy you won't die! Shit, I know Akechi would be, too.

Even if it's selfish making you face this after we're gone, knowing you're safe is the only comfort we have left.

[A soft squeeze, even as blood drips down to his shirt]

We'll be back. And yeah -- I'll introduce ya to the crew.

Edited 2018-07-28 05:05 (UTC)

...I hope so.

[It's quiet, lost, and already lonely, but it's something. He stays clinging to Sanji but shifts the both of them, pushing him over to the bed, which is the only thing he hasn't shoved in front of the door. He wants him to sit down so he can go grab a washcloth for that wound.]

...It's more painful than anything else, just as I thought. When I sat down to discuss it with Goro, I had said... that I didn't want to feel this, that I understood, but that I wanted to keep him from ever having to feel it himself. I told him that I wouldn't protect him, but I'd use a sacrifice to suggest someone else...

And it didn't matter at all that I broke my word.

[He brings the cloth back over, pressing it with a shaky hand to Sanji's temple, staring at the blood he's caused.]

Um, I'm rambling, aren't I? Nevermind all of that. Even though I've just punched you and then cried all over you... can I ask you to stay with me tonight?

[It's probably for the best Eichi is leading him to the bed. That punch was some shit, let him tell ya. If he were paying any attention, he'd notice how badly his head is throbbing, but instead he chuckles and takes his seat, arms draped over his knees as he waits patiently for Eichi to mop up the blood.

He won't stop the other, knowing that this probably helps in some way.]

If you want, then I'll stay.

[Where else is he gonna go? Zelos is gone. Varian, Natsuo, and Ion are gone. Rebecca and Cardia now, too. And while he does care for Souji and Veronica, even Belph now, it's really just Eichi who Sanji could not bear to see dead.

There's nowhere else for him to be]

I punched you only because you're leaving me, you know... of course I want you to stay.

[He's so worried... he doesn't care about wherever blood has or is dripping, he's just pressing the cloth to Sanji and holding it there, eyes hollow as he thinks of the heart he'd stabbed too eagerly while picturing Souji's face.]

Tomorrow... I can't be "just Eichi," or it would be a mess. I have to block off my feelings and pretend that I'm confident in this ending. Until you and Goro and the others are all back... then I can't be myself at all. I'm telling you this in hopes that you'll have extra motivation to return.

[At least he's honest. This focus makes him able to move, even if his whole body seems to be protesting against it. Maybe it's almost used to all the torture by now? Sort of. In a way.]

I don't want to be alone... but no matter what you may think or hope, I will be, once you're gone, too. Just like I was before...

... I know. I knew what asking you to watch me die would mean.

[Eichi is going to have to block himself in, and that's the cruelest request Sanji could make. He knew it and marched in this room anyway, to break the kid's heart twice in a row.]

And trust me, I already know that shit's the worst kind of strength -- you're gonna keep going, even if you're alone, or you'd just wish you'd stop moving.

[That's all he's been doing since he got to the castle: watching loved ones die and having to wake up every morning like he had the energy for living. Ha.]

But I know you can do it. [his voice is level, firm, and honest, and he watches Eichi's expression closely] You've done it before.

[he remembers that Eichi memory very well.]

... Tomorrow, put on that idol smile one more time. [Reaching over and resting his hand on Eichi's shoulder.] Ignore the rest of them if you gotta. Shit, stomp on their feelings if it'll help you make it to the end.

Whatever it takes.

[He doesn't seem satisfied by just that hand. The moment it rests there, he's shifting, leaning into Sanji completely until it's all of his weight and he's tackling him to this bed, just about. A slow motion tackle, with a cloth still held to his wound.

Eichi's eyes are closed, and he's trying to focus on his breathing. Like he'd taught Rebecca... He just has to psych himself up, like always. Wait it out, wait it out, it'll be okay, it'll be okay...]

I'll do what I can. Even if I already threw a tantrum here and dirtied your handsome face...

[He feels so bad now, he's still trying to CLEAN IT and prevent more bleeding. But he doesn't have a useful ability like healing. He can't help anyone.]

Like always, I'll hug my knees, give myself a pep talk, and remember where I am. It's love that I wanted to find for myself, and it's love that I have to remember in the worst of times, or I'm no idol at all.

So... please know that I love you with all my heart, Sanji. This friendship of ours is a precious thing that I treasure... I still grow upset like a child, but it's you who's helped me grow all this time, too, you know.

week 7 | friday, post investigation

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