Entry tags:
week 7 | Monday
[Wouldn't be right to visit one lady without the other, right? Though more than that -- Sanji has... business he wants to discuss with Tiger, that which is long overdue.
So when alone in the fire dorm, he calls to her with his mind]
So when alone in the fire dorm, he calls to her with his mind]
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You rang?
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Sanji feels his heart leap into his throat as if he's nervous.]
I did, Tiger-sama.
[... Y'know, he's not going to bullshit around with niceties. It'd make him look disingenuous at best, and sneaky at worst, so--]
... I was wondering why you and Dragon-sama picked Hiro and Yona-chan as the last Editors when they're kids.
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I don't know why she picked who she picked. We don't work together when we make our choices. I was only responsible for Beast.
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[he still gets confused by their title names, okay, and it takes a while to straighten it out in his head. After a moment, he'll go to take a seat across from her]
Then... she was your first pick for Editor, was she?
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[She rests her chin in one hand.]
It wasn't that I thought she was exactly suited for Editor as much as I thought, at the time, wrongfully, that placing her into the position would be a good strategy.
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That-- that fuckin hurts, no two ways about it, and Sanji's jaw works to keep his expression from betraying it]
But--
[but she is a child. Oh sure, maybe sixteen, old enough to make some really dumb mistakes, old enough for Sanji to note that she's going to be a beautiful woman one day, but to be murdering a group of people on the orders of another--]
There was no one else?
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[She scowls, looking away.]
What's the point in judging me now?
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Dear seas, grant him strength]
Oi now, my intention isn't to interrogate you... and Dragon-sama also picked a child.
[Frankly, she picked someone younger. Neither Crafters is looking particularly good for their choices]
You know by now I'm a shitty sentimentalist.
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[She only seems more annoyed by this revelation.]
How is it, I wonder, that I grew more attached to her champions than my own each time?
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That's
hm
Sanji isn't sure what makes him wanna shake his head more -- that their first interactions are looking a bit awkward in retrospect, or the fact Sanji probably destroyed the inherent usefulness of her champion by breaking Zelos down with the power of kindness]
... Sorry?
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[She huffs, but in the awkward silence she calms down a little bit. She's just being a damn tsundere.]
I'm not complaining.
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Somehow, I feel like I gotta apologize for Zelos.
[Because Zelos can't deal with people who are too similar to him, Sanji knows this and he is sorry, Tiger]
Is that what happened with Beauty, too?
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[She tenses slightly, but her voice is soft and almost pained as she says it. Clearly, whatever happened between her and Beauty pretty complicated.]
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[His expression falls with sympathy]
I wasn't thinking, was I? He... sorta gave some details, so I had wanted to hear your side of things, but...
[Some wounds don't deserve to be prodded. He knows that well enough.]
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What did he tell you?
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Some of the note was blotted out, so getting the full story was a pain in the ass, but...
He resented his objective to kill Beast.
And he felt betrayed that you outed him as an Editor during one of the trials.
[Beauty did not use the word "betray", so maybe Sanji is projecting, but he thought he had still felt that emotion through the parchment.]
I think he might've also assumed his objective to kill Beast could've represented you, too? Like I said, that shit was blotted to hell and back.
But he requested the audience and... everything went to shit after that.
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Betrayed?
[Tiger slams a fist down on the chair's arm, sitting up straighter.]
He made sure to find me when my guard was down and stabbed me in the heart! All I did was follow the rules--she would have done the same thing, had it been a trial she was overseeing!
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Sanji fuckin knew it]
Aaah... it was a rule.
[...]
You do seem to end up looking like the bad guy in these cases.
[Not even lip service, Tiger's luck is just very poor]
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[She laughs, mirthless and angry.]
No matter what I do, whatever my intentions are, I'm the one who stands for Evil, or for disorder, or for imbalance, so it's just so fitting! I punished Natsuo and I punished Stephanie, I revealed one of our Editors--I'm the monster!
[Her manic grin turns distant, lacking an object, and her hand comes up to clutch at the space over her heart.]
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Because he honestly hurts for her. At least in his case, Sanji was ready to embrace the perceptions that might be forced on him. It seems like Tiger never got a choice in the matter, really. Her choices always ended up betraying her.
It's getting easier to see why she hates Dragon so much.]
You're not a monster.
[A sigh]
I know not everyone will agree, but I just think you've had as hard of a time as any of us.
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If I have, I probably deserve it.
[The hand over her chest squeezes harder, like she's trying to rip her heart out of her body.]
If I'm not a monster, perhaps I should be.
[...]
Everything good in me died a long time ago--and I'm so angry that I'm still fuming over what Beauty did to me, and he was just a child.
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[Said firmly]
But you're allowed your anger over what happened, y'know. That's why I wanted to ask you, from your perspective.
[he is very tempted to go over to her, but decides to remain still at the last moment.]
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He reminded me of someone.
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Who?
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My son.
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BAD.
Dear god in heaven, Sanji looks stricken.]
... oh.
[Leaning back into the couch. Heck.]
You... lost him?
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What more can she even say?]
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He can't just leave her like that.
Whatever Tiger has done, or tried to do, there is no anger in Sanji's heart. Silently he'll glide over to her, taking her hand, if she lets him.]
I'm sorry.
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I only wanted...
[...]
If I could change the story, I'd never have to worry about him feeling the same resentment or anger as I do. But he's gone, and he's never coming back.
[Does it actually look like she's going to cry? She shields her face with her other hand.]
I can't even remember his name anymore.
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Is that why you started this?
[Yeah, he uh. Found out.]
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[Because she's not the person she was when she started it.]
This was never supposed to happen. The dragon I fight now is not the dragon I challenged to this war, and nothing's the same as it once was. I wanted freedom, that's all.
[But it wasn't only herself she fought for that freedom for.]
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[Freedom from what, his tone seems to ask? This is unfolding a little differently than what he had assumed]
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O-oi, wait a second--
You weren't the first Tiger?
Did you get locked into this role?
[He's having a fuckin mental crisis right now]
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[So, it only follows where it was to go next.]
One of us was eventually destined to end up in this position.
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Does this mean your son was destined to become the Tiger after you?
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[Her eyes close.]
We'll never know for sure, now.
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The very brief desire to reunite Tiger with her son isn't gone, but Sanji at least realizes it will need some... doctoring before he can push forward, if at all.
What a sad tale this is.]
So if you win the war, it's freedom from your title that you seek?
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[She frowns.]
I want to change what it means. I want the Tiger and the Dragon to become two separate stories, so these chains can be gone for good--so this story can never repeat itself again.
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That is not a cruel wish at all, jesus wept]
What would happen to everyone in your ending? I'm talking the castle, you, and Dragon-sama?
[he's sorry for all of these questions but he needs to know]
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[She hasn't thought that far ahead. Her goal has been single-minded from the start. She's never been the kind to consider what happens next.]
Dragon will die--that is her own wish. Whether it's by her own hand or by mine, it makes no difference to me.
[And then she frowns.]
I'll give you the rest of the ink that I have left over, there should be plenty to do with what you will.
[And for anyone else, she'd leave it at that, but...]
It might not be enough to do everything that you want, or bring everyone back--but there's a lot of it. A lot more than was ever necessary, and there may be even more still by the time this game ends.
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With Dragon-sama's ending, she promised us ink to save everyone, enough to have our happy ending, and that she would likely take her own life, ending her story.
[He doesn't know if she was lying or not. However...]
But if we choose her ending, does that mean the story of the Tiger and the Dragon will continue? Are more people gonna be brought into a war?
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[She thinks.]
I don't know that there'd be a war for certain--but I don't know that there wouldn't be, either.
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Dragon-sama's way guarantees us ink, so we'll get whatever ending we want... but the story continues, and others might eventually suffer in our places.
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It's balance. It's a Happily Ever After.
[Tiger scoffs.]
But how she could call it that--we've all seen what Happily Ever After does to people.
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Everyone in the castle is set on Dragon-sama's ending, because it gets us what we want -- back to our stories, our families, our homes...
No one knew our Happily Ever After was gonna damn a new group of people to follow this pattern.
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[She clicks her tongue.]
We're of two minds on everything. The way that she sees her own ending and the way that she sees mine is not the same as the way that I see them.
[That said.]
I'm not going to stop fighting, not even when I have no hope.
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... But he's gotten this far on the kindness of others, and... and there is something earnest about Tiger's wish, that Sanji recognizes as choices he might've made, too.
Her dream isn't ugly.]
No matter what happens, I think I would have picked your ending.
[Turning away, hand on his hip]
Thank you for telling me, by the way. I wouldn't have been happy with my choices if I'd never learned the whole truth.
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[She crosses her arms, sighing.]
...and thank you for...being here.