concasse: (neutral↠ from the back)
Sanji "flaming bullshit" Vinsmoke ([personal profile] concasse) wrote2018-07-22 04:05 pm
Entry tags:

week 6 | sunday, post-execution

[It's probably obvious how far Sanji has gone to avoid people lately. He didn't make himself available after the trial yesterday, something he's never done before, and besides for a stray comment offered to Cardia and Eichi, he leaves the execution without a word to anyone -- ignoring the tears and frustration of his castle comrades.

So Souji's best bet to catch Sanji? Stop him at the foyer stairs before he makes it to his room. Whether this is a result of him hiding because he's lost faith in everyone, or just lost faith in himself, he doesn't... really want to talk to anyone.]


Oi... need something?
sanguinairy: (bedbound)

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-22 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[Stop him at the foyer stairs he does! Souji just wheezes his way on after Sanji, but carefully extends a hand toward him once he's close enough to do so. His expression is a little difficult to read in its entirety, but there does seem to be a notable amount of concern. For good reason, really.

Sanji had been there when he was reeling in his grief, though. He at least has to try.]


Will you come with me?
sanguinairy: (to rest again)

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-22 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[He does take Sanji's hand, carefully, and start to lead the way up the stairs. His fingers are bony and chilled, and his hands have a mild sicktremor to them, but his grip manages to remain steady even now, somehow.

He'll lead the way all the way to his room in Earth dorm, and drop his hand only when he turns to close the door.]


...It's difficult. [A simple start. He takes a breath that rattles, sticks briefly in his lungs.]

I know that it's difficult, to lose someone you've been through so much with. People will say things like "I'm sorry" or "there was nothing to be done for it" or ask if you're okay, over and over, but no matter how many say it, it doesn't really make things feel any better. It doesn't change that someone took something precious from you, or make you less angry toward yourself. It doesn't change what happened, and that you couldn't stop it from happening. It won't make you want to see anyone more, or talk to anyone more. So I won't take up much of your time...

[Grief is delicate and everyone handles their own differently, after all. But he'll hold his hands out toward Sanji, palms up as if in supplication or asking for his in turn, a furrow at his brow.]

...And I won't ask you to be okay. But I will ask that you keep walking with us.
sanguinairy: (last step)

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-23 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Souji is quiet for a few careful moments, like he's really turning those words over before he decides what he wants to feel or say about them.]

You say that, but people here are still looking to you, you know? We worried when you were gone last night. I'm sure you'll be getting visitors today, too, even though you want to be alone.

[There's a brief note of mild apology in his tone at that, since he knows that sometimes you just want to sit in your empty room where your deadass partner used to be and wallow, and he's also actively preventing that.

He's not apologetic enough to step aside and let Sanji leave, though. Not yet.]


You've spent so long telling the rest of us not to give up. Are you ready to do so regardless?
sanguinairy: (end of the line)

tfw i always forget sanji is so young jesus

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-23 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
[That careful, quiet look lingers for a few seconds longer... But he seems to accept the truth in those words, and his hands lower again.]

That's the way things are.

[Sanji's sure stuck with a bunch of caring bastards for better or for worse, even if it's painful. Even if every step forward is excruciating, or lonely. Even if exhaustion bears down with such terrible weight that it bows the shoulders, bends the back.

Continuing to walk is cruel in many ways. But Souji is glad for the resolve of so many to do exactly that.

There's another pause then, and his head cants just a little to the side.]


...I knew before you asked that question yesterday.

[He figures he doesn't need to say much more than that.]
sanguinairy: (bedbound)

i cant believe souji is older than sanji!!!!!

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-23 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
I've had an idea for a little while. Not that long... A week or so, maybe - though I've known since the Sunday after that trial that Hijikata-san wasn't a Blotter's kill.

[Since Fane fckin came up to him and immediately let him know who done did Fitz in.]

I meant what I said, you know.
sanguinairy: (oceans)

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-23 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
[There's yet another few moments of silence, and then Souji reaches out, lightly touching Sanji's arm. Just a barely-there, featherlight gesture that's gone a few seconds later, in case it's a weight rather than a comfort.

In contrast to the lightness of his touch, his words are steel-boned.]


It isn't a matter of "deserved" or "undeserved". We've all made our choices. Everyone has been placed into situations that are difficult or painful, and I doubt anyone here doesn't have at least one thing they feel they should apologize for or regret by now. The only thing we can do is move forward.

[Though he takes another breath in after that, another breath that constricts in his chest and makes his lungs ache more than usual. Softer:]

...Hijikata-san would have been happier to die fighting back than to die easily, anyway. He's a samurai, you know? And you - you did all that you could with what you were given.

[He can't hold it against Sanji.]

It's a heavy burden that you carry, too.
sanguinairy: (winter)

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-24 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
[Well goodness, then. If Sanji doesn't object, Souji will just gently rest a hand on his shoulder as he cries it out, offering at least one small tether while he rides out his emotions.

It must have been a lot, he thinks, to keep that to himself for so long. To be able to keep up enough strength to face everyone during investigation, in trial, at execution - and to still take care of them through their own grief.

He only removes his hand once Sanji's crying has dwindled, once again folding them neatly in front of himself, seemingly unbothered by Sanji being unable to keep his gaze. That's fair.]


No one that I've told myself, though I'd imagine some may have figured it out after yesterday.

[Or a little beforehand, maybe, but. Well. Nothing to be done about that.]

Would you like this to stay quiet?
sanguinairy: (blossom)

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-26 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[He sure did, which had cemented what he was already pretty sure of even before he got more solid confirmation.

But he shakes his head.]


If you aren't looking for death, then I won't bring it to you.

[It isn't revenge he's after, here. He doesn't feel anything truly negative toward Sanji, and certainly won't be the one to condemn him after reminding him that he needs to stick around.]
sanguinairy: (another daydream)

THATS A MOOD TBH

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-27 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
[Sanji is definitely the one who cares the most about it. As soon as Souji had learned there was a way to bring back their dead, that's what his entire focus had shifted toward. Holding his death against his killer wasn't really something he would be able to do anyway. Not under these circumstances. Still, it's so far from his mind now that the idea of avoiding Sanji is almost, almost funny.]

I'm not exactly able to look after you if we never speak again, you know.
sanguinairy: (starsoft)

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-27 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
[There's a curious part of him that wants to ask who the other one is, but. Well. It's probably not his to know. Instead:]

Hijikata-san is Hijikata-san, it's true. [A simple and redundant statement, because he doesn't know how else to say "he's important" so succinctly.] But after so many weeks here together, is that really such a surprise?
sanguinairy: (to the bone)

[personal profile] sanguinairy 2018-07-27 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
[That's fair, after all the hullabaloo the Editor kills caused... He's sure Zelos is going to have a hell of a time on the Other Side, phew.

He'll just nod a little though, leaving off his usual comment, "no need for thanks". He gets the feeling now isn't the time for that.]


Of course. From this point forward, we'll just do what we can do, right?

[To succeed - to do their best for everyone, despite the wrongs that have occurred and the mistakes made along the way.]