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week 2

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[It's become a weekly tradition to check up on Eichi, seeing as he rarely participates in investigations. This might be the first time Sanji has to work up the effort to see him, however -- not for lack of want, but lack of...

Mm.

He's tired, okay? The death of kids doesn't ever sit well in his stomach.

But eventually he'll knock on the other's door, sometime in the mid afternoon, once the shock of it all has had time to settle for everyone.]

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[... It's impossible for Sanji to respond to most of that. Eichi doesn't mean it, but Sanji feels the weight of failure all the same, crushing his shoulders down until their stuck in a slump.

Yeah... he was supposed to look after Natsuo, had even said so many people wanted him alive that he'd be fine.

And Sanji had been wrong.]

I don't know.

[He really, truly doesn't]

That kid wanted to protect everyone, so... I wouldn't be surprised if he just found himself in a bad situation.

[SORRY SANJI... Eichi doesn't even realize what he's done, too lost in his own head.]

There are... at least a couple of people who don't like him, right? Dazai-san, for example. While it's possible he may have been up to something, I can't discount that someone else wasn't involved. Especially when people have been forced each week...

[He steps closer, not sure how to offer his support aside from leaning against the wall next to Sanji, like just being physically next to him helps at all.]

But a move like that would mean knowing that so many eyes would view them as cruel, and punish them without holding back. I wonder if that also was intentional.

[... Now there's an interesting thought. It's something new for Sanji's brain to chew on, a reprieve for his own grief. He's more than happy to take it, humming as he watches Eichi lean against the wall, too.]

Might be. Natsuo was so straightforward, I can see why some asshole would think him an easier target. [There's bile on his tongue, having to speak so bluntly when it hasn't even been 24 hours since the kid's death.] Either they were promised something worth our fury, or they feel they'd deserve the punishment.

[But of course, it could just be someone disliked him, didn't care about the consequences, and wanted Natsuo gone. Theorizing isn't getting him anywhere, it feels. He's left hollow for it.]

Well... in any case, we should keep it in mind -- there being two killers, I mean. Natsuo knew how to fight. I don't think he would've rolled over and let someone hurt him, either.

No... despite his size, he was quite strong. Even my strength didn't stand a chance.

[Not that he's anything close to a trained fighter, even if Sanji has helped him before. He lets out a soft sigh.]

Thinking about this doesn't help at all, but what else should we do? Sitting in silence and mourning is uncomfortable. I'm not used to being thrown off by death, but someone like that should have outlived me by years and years. I can't accept it.

I want to cry... but it doesn't feel as if I can even manage that, right now.

[A hum. At first that's all Sanji offers Eichi as he lifts his head, staring at the ceiling, until eventually:]

It's a shame there's no sea here.

[Speaking softly]

We'd wrap the bodies of seaman and send them out to the ocean on little rafts if we had the wood to spare, usually with a candle to light their way to the other side.

[A small way to honor the dead, and keep the hands of the living busy. But... they don't have that here.]

[Yes. Instead, they're left to drown each other in fake seas that vanish, or watch people ride to their deaths, only for their bodies to all disappear. But Eichi decides not to bring up that dark thought, instead focusing on what Sanji is saying.]

That sounds a peaceful way to be sent off. My childhood friend... the one that I wished to be here with that well and they only gave me broken glasses... he's the one that will be in charge of my funeral. A Buddhist family in charge of my family's funerals, assigned so casually.

We would speak for hours at a time about what sort of funeral I might have. I think he'd be interested to hear about something like that, though it's possible he might already know...

But I've thought about it, as well. They even take away our paths to the supposed afterlife.

Really? You got that shit planned to the detail, then?

[For a seafaring man who could die any day, talk of your death is almost forbidden, or at least met with morbid humor. Perhaps because they all know what roles will need filling, and so it's better left unspoken.

Though regardless of Eichi's answer, he nods quietly at the last part, now dropping his stare to the floor]

... You really think when we die here, we just... go away?

[What a strange question to ask, right? Give him a second, he'll elaborate, though looking almost embarrassed for it.]

A couple of people wonder if... I dunno, maybe ghosts? Maybe something happens to our spirits, and there might be a way to get the dead back.

[A shrug]

Wishful thinking shit, of course. I think it's easier pretending we got a hold over the dead, like we can make this a bad dream for everyone if we try hard enough.

Not me, but him. I told him I'd leave it to him to deal with, so I wouldn't have to worry about it. He promised me that no matter what, no matter how deep I crawled into hell, he'd find a way to send my soul to heaven.

[He lets out a quiet laugh, both at that and Sanji's last words. Not at them, just thinking.]

If there is anything like a God, then he must hate me. [Bluntly.] Because of that, I'm not sure what to think. Is there an afterlife like my dreams, where I won't feel pain at all? Will we be stuck to live through our suffering again and again? Or do we just cease to exist?

All I know is that the dead most certainly don't come back to life. Even the living struggle with living itself, you know, so... [This is such a depressing topic.]

I'm sorry. I ended up rambling again, didn't I? About such a strange topic, too... Normally I'd be scolded for it, so it's okay to say "don't talk about things like that" if it becomes too much, you know.

No harm in rambling. [Actually smiling for once, though it quickly dies.] I asked you a question, you answered it. I'd be one hell of an asshole to cut you off in the middle of it.

[And it helps, in its own way, reorienting Sanji back to the ways of the world. All this magic got him hoping, but sometimes it's best to cut off that hope before it turns to cancer.

The dead don't come back to life. It's the living they have to concentrate on.]

Well, in any case, no point in talking about damnation early. [Switching back on track] We might not have a sea, but we got candles... I think I'll light one for 'em tomorrow.

[The dead who can't come back.]

...I'd like that, and I think Natsuo-kun would, as well as those others who have died.

[It's such a kind gesture. Eichi himself has been worrying this whole time about not having someone here for his funeral, but the truth is, no one has anyone right now. He gets that now.]

I feel a little more relaxed, thanks to you, Sanji-kun. I don't know what I'd do without you here.

[Mouth tilting into a slight smile. Sanji's human, after all, and hearing he's done his job -- to pull Eichi out of his dark thoughts and give him something to smile about -- is relieving to hear]

Happy to help.

[Staring up to the ceiling again]

I know how easy it is to start feeling helpless in this place, like we really don't have any power to change shit.

It truly is. When I heard that you'd stumbled back into the castle as injured as you are now, I'd felt a pit in my stomach that still hasn't left. Even being stuck in hospitals for my whole life, I can't do anything helpful like treat a wound.

[He doesn't know a thing about it. He could watch youtube videos for an hour and learn, strangely enough, but they don't have that here SOOO]

Since I can only protect one person at a time, each week... Could you please be a little more careful?

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