friday | post-investigation

[concasse]

[Well...

Everyone knew it was coming.

Finally a week where they can all band together and officially declare this castle the worst experience of their lives. Sanji can't even cook in these conditions, having long since given up and settled on a glass of water he's not even drinking, staring blankly in the distance.

He doesn't really focus on where his feet take him. The walk's because he'll start screaming otherwise, and upon finding Rebecca, he can't even smile for her. His head tilts sadly.]

... Hey.

Comments

[concasse]

[A lady has summoned him, so he'll wander over to her, expression still worn but lightening around the edges.

Talking to someone helps]

Yeah?

[disclosures]

[She gets up and hugs him, burying her face into his shirt.

Miserable is an awful feeling, and she wasn't expecting to feel it quite so strongly. But she wasn't expecting Natsuo to die today.]

[concasse]

[Oh Rebecca.

He... just holds her, an arm around her shoulders, expression softening in grief. It's like he thought to himself -- nearly everyone cared about Natsuo.

It's like the entire castle lost something precious.]

... I'm sorry.

[he couldn't even protect the kid]

[disclosures]

[ It's not his fault. It's not Sanji's fault unless the was the one who killed Natsuo with his own two hands.

But she doesn't want to think about that right now. She wants to think about something else. The thing she usually defaults to when she's stressed.

Up on her tip toes she goes, pressing a kiss against Sanji's lips. ]

[concasse]

[One minute they are hugging.

The next they are kissing.

And Sanji swears he's been here before.]

R-rebecca-chan...!

[UM. God. Pulling back a half-step, not necessarily so far away that they're not hugging, but enough so that he can look at her, his expression pinched with worry.

It's not that he's secretly a prude who can't understand why physical intimacy would be a stellar way to relieve stress, but.

He thinks he's... starting to see a part of the reason Rebecca has trouble with men. Oh lord.]

I...

[Mmm there is no nice way to say he is not confident enough in her coping mechanisms to sleep with her but here they are.]

[disclosures]

[Rebecca's been here more times than she can count.

But she's been able to have a decent number of one night stands that didn't end in complete disaster. The trick is not having feelings for the person in question.

Her expression goes even more miserable. Oh. No. She can't deal with being rejected like this so she steps closer.

What's wrong? What did she do wrong? What does she do wrong every time?]

[concasse]

[That expression she shoots him just makes him feel worse, and for a moment, Sanji seems to falter, even consider that maybe he's blowing shit out of proportion.

Rebecca is a pretty lady who knows what she wants. That's fine. He can get behind that.

-- And yet he can't shake the feeling it'd be horrible when she's likely feeling so miserable, has likely been in this position before, and this will lead to tears later on.]

Oi now, it's not-- there's nothing wrong with you or anything.

[Which is better? Honesty or a kinder lie? He doesn't know.]

... I'm just worried about you. Everyone's so high strung after Natsuo. [And this smells like a bad decision on her part]

[disclosures]

[He says there's nothing wrong with her. But what she hears is something different. She's unlovable, nobody will ever like her. Love is impossible for her.

Love just isn't something she'll ever have in her life.

So she pulls away and ends up hugging herself instead.]

[concasse]

[Immediately looking sad, knowing that he's causing this, and his stomach turns at the thought that he hurt a lady's feelings.

... Too late to take it back, though.]

I'm serious. It's not you. You deserve whatever happiness you're looking for, yeah?

And I'm not saying this shit to make fun of you, or make excuses for myself.

[It's just--]

Not like this, alright? Not while you're hurt and tired, and we're both pissed the fuck off that Natsuo is gone.

... I'm not worth that. I'll only cause you grief.

[disclosures]

[It's so hard to believe that. Whenever she thought she found happiness for herself, it never seemed to last. Happiness is a word that's tied into being loved, into having somebody who loves her. It's a word that needs two people, otherwise it's nothing.

This is even worse when she can't say any of that. She wants a moment to forget, to release stress in the way she's used for years and years. And she can't even have that.

Not like this. He's not worth it.

Being rejected is already causing her grief.

On the outside she just hugs herself harder as she falls back into the chair.]