Sunday | Post-Execution

[concasse]

[Sanji hasn't the nerve to claim he's a calm man without a temper, but he's still been... careful, ever since coming to the castle. Very few people here can stand up to his ire. He knows it, okay? There's a reason why he sequesters himself in the kitchen whenever his mood plummets.

But that spectacle on Sunday seems to have brought forth the worst of him. No matter how mindful he is to give Eichi some space, eventually he winds his way to the other's room, knocking on the door before he just opens it up anyway, slipping his head through the crack.]

Oi, you in here?

Comments

[finethanks]

[ Of course it’s that question. He dreads and appreciates it all the same, and he drops the glasses to the side on the bed. ]

I don’t know. [ A useless answer, a worrying one, when his coming here was meant to avoid that. ] I can’t get the image out of my mind. Her face, growing drowsier by the second. I couldn’t stop.

[concasse]

[Automatically his shoulders hitch, the irritation starting to mingle with his expression. He turns his head away, clenching his jaw]

... I figured it was outta your control.

[Swearing to himself]

The fuck are they thinking, making one of us carry out their dirty work?

[finethanks]

...

[Eichi, for the most part, is quiet. He has too many thoughts, and he's still trying to appear calm, to not turn into the desperate child he keeps letting show.]

When my legs were moving, it was completely out of my control. But at the side of the water, it was more than just forced movement— it was a forced feeling. My hands moved under my control, but I couldn't resist doing what I knew had to be done.

Doing it that way, it's definitely that I killed her, rather than anyone else.

I wonder if it's some sort of karma... "Happily Ever After." I had a feeling it would be worse, but in petty rage, I had chosen it anyway.

[concasse]

[Jesus--

His gaze snaps back to Eichi, stunned, feeling his stomach coil uncomfortably at hearing even his emotions were taken over. He was angry before -- he's angry now -- but the words stick to the roof of his mouth, refusing to budge.

Eventually he crosses the room to sit at the edge of the bed, hunched over, resting his arms over his knees.]

You weren't the only person who chose that option. And no one could've guessed what would happen.

[And which, he wonders, is better? Drowning, or being stabbed in a carriage?]

[finethanks]

[If it were any other time, he might have tried to scoot over to sit closer with someone. He hates being alone, feeling alone, and this is the most alone he's ever felt, even with people reaching out to him and expressing concern. But he doesn't know if he deserves it.

So, he stays frozen on his own spot on the edge of the bed, hands now folded in his lap, gripping himself too tightly.]

That's all true, isn't it? [But he doesn't sound all that relieved, somehow. He lets silence hang for another long moment.]

In the moment, while trying to stay calm like other more capable people less pathetic than me would, I thought it was good that I was able to save anyone else from having to dirty their hands. I thought I could control it being quick, even if drowning is a horrifying way to die, full of panic and not peaceful at all. I thought things like "at least it's not Akechi-kun," as if that made it any better.

I wondered if perhaps one of the other stories would have been more merciful, even if it didn't matter. No matter what, it was going to be a horrible death.

[...]

I'm sorry for worrying you. I'd like to put on a smile and pretend I'm fine, so that no one has to worry, but it's painful, and selfishly I want to be heard. You're always willing to listen.

[concasse]

[I thought it was good that I was able to save anyone else from having to dirty their hands

The faces of his crewmates flash before him, snapshots of their smiling faces, and Sanji just... closes his eyes for a moment.]

... Wish I could say that shit gets easier to handle.

[It doesn't. It really doesn't. Being the bad guy to protect other people hurts as much as it heals, even if you're dragged into it.]

And oi, if you were smiling and pretending you were fine after that shit, I'd smack you. No one in the right mind is gonna be fine after something like that. Someone died, and you were forced to carry it out.

[That's the true tragedy to him. Eichi killed someone. No matter that he was coerced into the action by magic, he can't wipe all that blood off his hands. That's gonna settle on his soul.]

[finethanks]

[A villain is the last thing he wanted to be, but it was his only choice, the only role he fit into back home— and it seems here is no different. How unfortunate.

Now, he stops gripping his hands so tight, staring down at how pale they've gotten from it, circulation struggling to replace what he's cut off.]

I feel as though it'd be easier on others to see me that way. Perhaps they'd point some aggression towards me, rather than Akechi-kun, as well. [...]

But you have a sharper eye than that, Sanji-kun. I'm relieved, since I'm able to get this off my chest, but I also feel as if you're shouldering everything on your own. I'd like to say... please talk to me, if you ever might need it.

If nothing else, I can at least listen and offer company.

[concasse]

[Listening is all Sanji's good for, so selfish as it is, he's glad to learn Eichi's got some of this shit off his chest. A small comfort to them both. Won't stop him from looking surprised by that offer, however -- heh, him? Listen to him?

Sanji chuckles, drawings his hands up.]

Me? Nah, I'm too selfish to shoulder anything that's not cooking.

[Don't worry about him. He's fine.

Sanji's always fine.]

Just... take care of yourself, alright? Vent however you gotta. Even keep that roommate of yours in line. It's gonna get tougher from here.

[finethanks]

[That can't be... Eichi is clueless about some things, but he knows that someone that kind is always hurting. Like Tsumugi, who he took complete advantage of. He doesn't want to do that again, if he can help it. He'd already trampled so many friends. There had to be a way to move forward with them as support, instead.

Now, he shifts, shamelessly scooting closer to Sanji so he can lean to rest against him.]

I'm the one who's selfish. You may be a pirate, but I was a tyrant, before. I was jealous, bitter, and it left me alone on the top. A kindness like yours is beyond what I deserve.

[But, he'll take it though. Of course he will. No one wants to be alone.]

In other words, I don't believe you at all... But I don't have any helpful traits to offer, either, so all I can do is quietly wait until you might need me, one day.

I'll take care of Akechi-kun and myself as much as I can.

[concasse]

... You gotta give yourself more credit, Eichi.

[His voice tinged with fondness, he won't scoot away after the other takes up space beside him. It's a comfortable type of warmth, and even being the type of guy he is, Sanij doesn't feel threatened by the honesty.]

I keep scolding you to take care of yourself 'cause I don't know what I'd do if you suddenly weren't around.

[finethanks]

.....

[Eichi Tenshouin, caught off guard by words, catch it here. But after a quiet few seconds, he can catch himself and recover, even if his face does heat up the slightest. He's not used to people caring?! Let alone openly admitting it without dancing around in strange ways. No magic tricks, no tsun??]

It's unfair to use smooth lines like that on me, Sanji-kun. I feel too much like a high school girl right now, thanks to that.

[HE JUST ADMITS IT I HATE HIM] In any case... That does make me feel relieved. Thank you.