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[concasse]

"Sanji" Vinsmoke

Oi. Make it quick, will ya?

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[concasse]

[Sanji takes it, holding it between his fingers with more delicacy than is strictly necessary. It's got his name on it, as promised, though it's not written by hand, instead printed like a business letter. Hn. Return address obviously fake. After glancing at the back for any other clues--

The entire thing catches fire.]

Well, since you're here, might as well feed your ass.

[As is his sacred duty. There's a light fragrance of smoke and ash, prompting an immediate grin out of him. He crumples what's left of the letter in his hands]

I need someone to keep an eye on Chou, she's been climbing up my leg all day.

[fabrefactions]

[ WELL THEN.

Yusuke glances down at the little ash pile and then back up at the very-pleased-with-himself smile that Sanji is wearing. ]

Not a fan of the sender then, I take it.

[ He drops down to scoop up Chou in his arms, allowing her to playfully bat at his cheek in the process: a) because it’s cute, and b) because there’s no stopping her anyway. ]

That would be because you spoil her and let her get away with it.

[concasse]

[No point in deigning that first statement with a reply. After clapping his hands free of the debris, he turns to scratch the kitten on her head, prompting a meow and Chou trying to bat his fingers]

I don't let her get away with shit, just prolong her inevitable punishments.

[S U R E. But in any case, Sanji's quick to move the topic forward, and glances at Yusuke in bold amusement]

And this might be random, and correct me if I'm wrong, but...


I heard you do customized body pillows.

[HE HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE]

[fabrefactions]

Is that what they call it nowadays?

[ He watches Sanji make an utterly besotted fuss of Chou with no further comment... he almost wants to ask who the letter was from, but that’s personal enough as it is. Getting the fact he has siblings out of him had been like draining blood from a stone, so he wasn’t optimistic of his chances.

And then Sanji keeps talking and Yusuke freezes, tensing enough that Chou lets out a little annoyed chirp at being constricted. ]

Where did you even hear that from? ... and no, not by choice I don’t.

[concasse]

[Sanji isn't going to reveal his sources that easily -- especially because he's hit gold]

You're telling me you get blackmailed into making art?

[FOR SHAME, YUSUKE, he thought better of you.

... He's also leaning obnoxiously close with a shit-eating grin on display, so far in that his chin ends up resting on Yusuke's shoulder.]

[fabrefactions]

[ Oh my god. He’s getting a cat to the face, immediately. U lil’ shit. ]

I did one as a favour. Apparently I shouldn’t have because they kept telling people I’d made it. And then other people asked for them.

[ ........ ]

You can charge a surprising amount for them. The money is... good.

[concasse]

[WORTH IT, even when Chou protests and sticks her paws directly into Sanji's face, nearly scratching his cheeks up. He takes her with another smirk, twisting the kitten up onto his shoulder where she immediately balances.]

Oh? So as long as I meet your price, you'll make two of 'em for me?

[That was easier than he thought]

[fabrefactions]

Absolutely not.

[ Now excuse him, he has a kitty nose to boop. ]

[concasse]

I'll pay double the price.

[fabrefactions]

The answer is still “absolutely not”.

[concasse]

Even if I pay for the materials, too?

[fabrefactions]

Even if you pay for the materials too.

[ There’s a flat look. ]

This is something I would like to distance myself from, instead of continuing indefinitely.

[concasse]

Who said you'd be doing this indefinitely?

[Yusuke you can't expect this tire fire of a boyfriend to give up that easily]

This could always be your last order. And think of the money you'd be making off your boyfriend.

[fabrefactions]

I feel I will regret asking this, but ... why do you even want a body pillow?

[ He is RIGHT HERE... c’mon... ]

[concasse]

Oi oi, why the hell not?

[Just look at this eager face, Yusuke. Look at it.]

I'll make one with your face, you make one with mine. It's like those painting sessions you do with your partners, expect we're going the extra shitty mile here.

[fabrefactions]

[ THIS IS TERRIFYING, PLEASE DO NOT. ]

I have made ones for friends, and that was weird enough. And this is not like painting, the skill involved is on an entirely different level. Most of the time you can save and edit the same template for this, whereas a painting requires working from scratch and devoting time and attention to it on a whole other level--

[ Stop him. ]

[concasse]

[There's probably some rule that says you shouldn't give your boyfriend an aneurysm, but hell, once Yusuke starts ranting about the merits of painting over body pillows, Sanji just

loses it

fuckin guffawing into Yusuke's shoulder with an arm covering his stomach]

[fabrefactions]

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The merits of painting are not something to be laughed at.

[ He's absolutely poking Sanji in the side. RI-fuckin'-P. ]

1/2

[concasse]

[B E T R A Y A L]

O-oi, the sides are off-limits--!

[Fuck. Now he's laughing and dodging away, hands held up in surrender]

I wasn't laughing at painting, alright?

[concasse]

... Was laughing at you having to bullet point why painting's higher art than body pillows.

[NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD]

[fabrefactions]

...

... ...

[ He just pokes his opposite side. ]

Oh dear, my hand slipped.

[ D E A D P A N ]

[concasse]

[BOI.

It better never get out that Sanji retreated to avoid being tickled. He's on the other side of the room now, expression flat]

See, the only way I'm gonna recover from this shitty abuse is if we start on those body pillows today.

[fabrefactions]

Yet, it is because of body pillows we're here now.

[ Yusuke shifts his weight slightly, and folds his arms. ]

Really though? The only way?

[concasse]

Absolutely.

I might never recover otherwise.

[fabrefactions]

I’m sure you will manage.

[ What’s cooler than cool?

Ice cold. ]