[Baren enters, closes and locks the door behind him immediately out of habit. For a second longer he lingers, leaning his back against the door and thinking about what he should say. What he needs to say. What he can say.
He's not good at this. He's never been good at this.
Making people angry at him is easy, it's what he does without hesitation just given his personality - but there are people in this city that he'd rather see smiling and laughing. Sanji, for better or worse, is one of those people.
He follows to the kitchen and hops up to sit on the counter automatically, watching and waiting for a moment. Ultimately what's worked for him in the past is saying what he means - ... but all of it, leaving nothing out.]
... I promised Mimi that I'd make it so that you're not mad at me, you know. So I'm giving myself a 24 hour time limit or else it's a broken promise to her... and I can't do that.
She said my joke was mean, too.
... but you know, I get mean.
[It's just how he is. How they are. They're both mean people on the outside, even if the inside is something they'd rather not share.
. . . he's quiet after that though, thoughtful as he rests his chin leans forward and rests his chin on both his hands.]
.... you matter to me.... is the type of thing you want to hear? Even though I didn't see you for years... I'm glad you're alive? [The edge of his lips quirk upward, because Baren is not without humor.] More than that?
If you want to hear that sort of thing regularly, Sanj... [a glance away] I don't know if I can give you that.
[He's not built for it. Even now, everything he felt was phrased as questions - as if they were the only way that they could leave his mouth. But he'll sit back up and run a hand through his hair irritatedly. His expression grows more serious again - ]
... the rest of that though - if you think that I'm out to get you, or want to get rid of you - if I let you think that, that's the mistake. Not you.
[ ... which may be as close to "I made a mistake" as he can get right now. Baren's never said sorry in his life. Not once.
That doesn't mean he can't express the notion in the awkward, fumbling, roundabout ways he knows how.]
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He's not good at this. He's never been good at this.
Making people angry at him is easy, it's what he does without hesitation just given his personality - but there are people in this city that he'd rather see smiling and laughing. Sanji, for better or worse, is one of those people.
He follows to the kitchen and hops up to sit on the counter automatically, watching and waiting for a moment. Ultimately what's worked for him in the past is saying what he means - ... but all of it, leaving nothing out.]
... I promised Mimi that I'd make it so that you're not mad at me, you know. So I'm giving myself a 24 hour time limit or else it's a broken promise to her... and I can't do that.
She said my joke was mean, too.
... but you know, I get mean.
[It's just how he is. How they are. They're both mean people on the outside, even if the inside is something they'd rather not share.
. . . he's quiet after that though, thoughtful as he rests his chin leans forward and rests his chin on both his hands.]
.... you matter to me.... is the type of thing you want to hear? Even though I didn't see you for years... I'm glad you're alive? [The edge of his lips quirk upward, because Baren is not without humor.] More than that?
If you want to hear that sort of thing regularly, Sanj... [a glance away] I don't know if I can give you that.
[He's not built for it. Even now, everything he felt was phrased as questions - as if they were the only way that they could leave his mouth. But he'll sit back up and run a hand through his hair irritatedly. His expression grows more serious again - ]
... the rest of that though - if you think that I'm out to get you, or want to get rid of you - if I let you think that, that's the mistake. Not you.
[ ... which may be as close to "I made a mistake" as he can get right now. Baren's never said sorry in his life. Not once.
That doesn't mean he can't express the notion in the awkward, fumbling, roundabout ways he knows how.]